Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?
Most people believe that
children
should learn to control money
Add an article
the money
that
is good for their future lives, Correct word choice
as
while
another part think
, Change the verb form
thinks
that is
not available for their ages
. Fix the agreement mistake
age
This
essay agree
that childer should be Change the verb form
agrees
interesded
in Correct your spelling
interested
financial
at Replace the word
finances
the
Correct article usage
apply
school
age and the principal advantage is they never challenge about
cash Change preposition
apply
and
the main disadvantage is child psychologists said thatCorrect word choice
apply
,
we must not Remove the comma
apply
busy
Add a missing verb
be busy
about
Change preposition
with
fiscal
. Replace the word
finances
This
essay will first discuss the children
should study about
Change preposition
apply
money
followed by an analysis of the
Correct article usage
apply
that
is not suitable for Correct pronoun usage
what
children
.
Firstly
, peole
were in their teens when they Correct your spelling
people
are
go to Unnecessary verb
apply
school
, they should learn everything about money
in school
. What is the
more, Correct article usage
apply
children
spend money
at school
for instance
foods
, entertainment, Fix the agreement mistake
food
education
Correct word choice
and education
such
as, they should understand that, spending money
how effect
their financial Add the particle
to effect
candition
so, Correct your spelling
condition
they
have to think about Correct word choice
so they
rent
Add an article
the rent
of
Change preposition
for
month
. Correct article usage
the month
For example
, they want to buy a new computer
own money
. They have to think about which computer
is proper for their money
that is
why, they should think a lot about species
Correct article usage
the species
fo
Correct your spelling
of
computer
and Fix the agreement mistake
computers
then
if a computer
is bought, they will think end
of the month. All in all, at an early age Add an article
the end
children
learn to control cash, in the future
they will never Add a comma
,future
difficulty
Add a missing verb
have difficulty
about
Change preposition
with
the
cash.
İn addition, most popular psychologists considerCorrect article usage
apply
,
we should not require our Remove the comma
apply
children
because
Change preposition
to because
that is
not their business so, we just teach their
to save Change the pronoun
them
about
Change preposition
apply
money
. If we try to teach our children
bout this
that is
just terrible for their
Correct pronoun usage
them
clearly
, these types of financial issuers are Replace the word
clarity
Add an article
a force
force
Wrong verb form
forced
for
Change preposition
on
children
’s brains therefor
, Correct your spelling
therefore
that
is not match
their daily lives. Change the verb form
does not match
For instance
, we take a boy who he
is 11 years old. We know that he spends time totally at Correct pronoun usage
apply
school
so, this
problem overloads our children
that is
why they are preoccupied with this
problem. children
just only engage their
education, relationship, and healthy at these ages. Change preposition
in their
Finally
, children
do not think about money
since they are work
out just reading and writing.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
are working
children
should learn to manage money
that
is Correct pronoun usage
which
great
experience for their future lives Add an article
a great
while
we must not demand Correct pronoun usage
it to
to
them. Change preposition
from
That is
not their business and also
this
is so hard for them.Submitted by emilqasimov049 on
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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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