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Band 7

Some people think that only government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals have a lot of influence. What is your opinions?

#people #government #changes #society #individuals #influence
Many people nowadays stand in the position that the author of a nation has an important role in altering the social circumstance, notwithstanding, many people have contradictions in individual roles.
Nevertheless
, in my point of view, people's power as citizens has an equal value to the government and can severely impact the regulations and social structures. Regarding the individual's role, to proceed with regulations, policymakers need scrutiny when they have formed a law to not only provide fairness but
also
 ensure public wellness. UU Cipta Kerja, Indonesia's working laws, as an example, ignite discord among the low-level workers and the elite ones,
as a result
 of a minimum level of compromising between them to promote equal value.
Hence
, the judgement process from the public, is needed acumen way in order to validate the products, thereby, facilitating public importance accurately.
Moreover
, corroborating complex interests from all the related subjects can be a preemptive way to avert poignant that can lead to segregation in society. The aims of good governance are to alleviate the collision between all the social levels and create aggregations.
Furthermore
, in my opinion, individuals are a subject that matters for a "democracy campaign" in a regime, thereby, their involvement is a fuel to elevate the voters in an election. Regarding
this
 statement, the government can not stand firmly if citizen participation is ignored.
Thus
, it strengthens the role of individuals in social groups.
To conclude
, the government is formed by the residents of a nation, state, or regime. So, it needs a meticulous act to acquire their involvement. I hope a better understanding of it can lead to a better society in future.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea and that both the introduction and the conclusion provide a clear overview and final statement, respectively. Transitions between ideas need to be more polished to guide the reader seamlessly through your argument.
task achievement
Address the task by presenting clear opinions with support, but ensure that the response remains fully relevant to the prompt. Expand on your ideas with specific examples to fully display the depth of your understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • society
  • government
  • changes
  • influence
  • policies
  • laws
  • intervention
  • societal issues
  • collective action
  • progress
  • development
  • harmonious
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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