The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
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The given diagram provides detailed information about the processing steps of making
bricks
Use synonyms
that are used in the building industries.  The manufacturing process begins with digging the ground to extract the clay by the utilisation of diggers machines.
The following step is
Linking Words
to place the clay in the metal grid followed by the roller. The
Replace the word
resulting
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resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
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mixture
then
Linking Words
gets
further
Linking Words
mixed with sand and water. The mix afterwards can be shaped into
bricks
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either through a wire cutter or by pouring it into moulds.  After forming the
bricks
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, they must be dried in the oven for about 24 to 48 hours. They have to be kept in two kilns, first at a moderate temperature and second at a high one starting from 200C to 1300C. Afterwards, the
bricks
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go through the cooling chamber for about 24 to 72 hrs.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the procedure of shipping begins by packaging the
bricks
Use synonyms
and sending them via delivery to the building industries.
Submitted by tnteeroo on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • manufacture
  • bricks
  • building industry
  • process
  • dig
  • prepare
  • clay
  • mold
  • shape
  • dry
  • fire
  • kiln
  • cool
  • package
  • fired
  • overview
  • importance
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