IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers
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A few people think that teaching expenses are better being used to improve technological tools
while
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 others consider that funds should be used on tutors. My stand of
point
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the point
a point
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 is,
although
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 both are important,
computers
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 are the most important devices to extend our knowledge. First of all, we live in
twenty first
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twenty-first
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 century, so
computers
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 are indispensable ways
for
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to
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 learning. Nowadays everyone uses
computers
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 at school, home and work.
Thus
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, using more advanced
computers
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 will add a lot of benefits to our knowledge.
For instance
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, using advanced
computers
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 at school
,
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apply
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 makes teaching more attractive and interesting for children which can motivate their curiosity to know more.
Also
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, using developed
computers
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 help us to enhance self-education by using
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the trail
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trail
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trial
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 and error method to figure out how new improvements work. On another hand, having a valuable,
high
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highly
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 educated and intellectual staff in kindergartens, schools and universities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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not
Correct your spelling
no
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 less important than having sophisticated
computers
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. No matter how much we have
been
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apply
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developed or to any extent our societies have
been
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apply
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improved, we are still humans and need encouragement, appreciation, and cooperation in our daily life.
In addition
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, Better teachers
means
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mean
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 better discussions, expand horizons and curious questions which opens a door for more knowledge and better education. It is worth
to mention
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mentioning
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, how we have got interested in a specific subject at school thanks to versed teachers.
To sum up
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, Even though both are vital, it is good to remember that developed
computers
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 are designed by educated humans. Eventually, using various methods to have better education is a normal consequence of human development. But the most important thing is to keep going on in
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
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 way no matter which tools are being used (advanced
computers
Use synonyms
 or high-educated teachers).
Submitted by alasfar.maram on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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