Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers

A few people think that teaching expenses are better being used to improve technological tools

while

others consider that funds should be used on tutors. My stand of

point

Add an article

the point

a point

show examples

is,

although

both are important,

computers

are the most important devices to extend our knowledge. First of all, we live in

twenty first

Add a hyphen

twenty-first

show examples

century, so

computers

are indispensable ways

for

Change preposition

show examples

learning. Nowadays everyone uses

computers

at school, home and work.

Thus

, using more advanced

computers

will add a lot of benefits to our knowledge.

For instance

, using advanced

computers

at school

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

makes teaching more attractive and interesting for children which can motivate their curiosity to know more.

Also

, using developed

computers

help us to enhance self-education by using

Correct article usage

the trail

show examples

trail

Correct your spelling

trial

show examples

and error method to figure out how new improvements work. On another hand, having a valuable,

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

educated and intellectual staff in kindergartens, schools and universities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

less important than having sophisticated

computers

. No matter how much we have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

developed or to any extent our societies have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

improved, we are still humans and need encouragement, appreciation, and cooperation in our daily life.

In addition

, Better teachers

means

Change the verb form

mean

show examples

better discussions, expand horizons and curious questions which opens a door for more knowledge and better education. It is worth

to mention

Change the verb form

mentioning

show examples

, how we have got interested in a specific subject at school thanks to versed teachers.

To sum up

, Even though both are vital, it is good to remember that developed

computers

are designed by educated humans. Eventually, using various methods to have better education is a normal consequence of human development. But the most important thing is to keep going on in

learning

Correct article usage

a learning

show examples

way no matter which tools are being used (advanced

computers

or high-educated teachers).

Submitted by alasfar.maram on Fri Mar 10 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Employees should not work in jobs they don’t enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extend do you agree with?