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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers
A few people think that teaching expenses are better being used to improve technological tools
while
 others consider that funds should be used on tutors. My stand of
point
Add an article
the point
a point
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 is,
although
 both are important,
computers
 are the most important devices to extend our knowledge. First of all, we live in
twenty first
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twenty-first
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 century, so
computers
 are indispensable ways
for
Change preposition
to
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 learning. Nowadays everyone uses
computers
 at school, home and work.
Thus
, using more advanced
computers
 will add a lot of benefits to our knowledge.
For instance
, using advanced
computers
 at school
,
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apply
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 makes teaching more attractive and interesting for children which can motivate their curiosity to know more.
Also
, using developed
computers
 help us to enhance self-education by using
Correct article usage
the trail
show examples
trail
Correct your spelling
trial
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 and error method to figure out how new improvements work. On another hand, having a valuable,
high
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highly
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 educated and intellectual staff in kindergartens, schools and universities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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not
Correct your spelling
no
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 less important than having sophisticated
computers
. No matter how much we have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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developed or to any extent our societies have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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improved, we are still humans and need encouragement, appreciation, and cooperation in our daily life.
In addition
, Better teachers
means
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mean
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 better discussions, expand horizons and curious questions which opens a door for more knowledge and better education. It is worth
to mention
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mentioning
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, how we have got interested in a specific subject at school thanks to versed teachers.
To sum up
, Even though both are vital, it is good to remember that developed
computers
 are designed by educated humans. Eventually, using various methods to have better education is a normal consequence of human development. But the most important thing is to keep going on in
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
 way no matter which tools are being used (advanced
computers
 or high-educated teachers).
Submitted by alasfar.maram on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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