Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Music
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is considered an acceptable way to attract
people
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from various cultures and different
ages
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. I almost disagree with
this
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statement. In the paragraphs to come
this
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essay will put forth my perspective on
this
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topic. There are two reasons why
music
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cannot bring different cultures or
ages
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together. At
first,
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some
music
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genres are too specific to an area and just can convey messages to local
people
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.
This
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is because, in these specific categories,
such
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as folklore
music
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, musical instruments and languages are too limited and domestic.
As a result
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, other
people
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from different cultures cannot understand and receive their meaning of them.
In addition
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,
people
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of different group
ages
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have dissimilar
music
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tastes.
Consequently
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, they are not keen on listening to the same
music
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.
For instance
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, an adolescent may prefer to listen to rock or R&B
music
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, maybe
as a result
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of peer pressure, but his grandfather prefers to listen to traditional
to
Change preposition
apply
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music
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.
Hence
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, both localization in specific
music
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genres and the generation gap are crucial for the disability of
music
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to bring
people
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together.
However
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, there is one reason that
music
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can be beneficial in bringing
people
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together.
Music
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can transfer massages without any barrier .
This
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is because of its international language in notes and musical features.
In other words
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, musicians from all around the world and of any
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ages
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age
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are able to play a
music
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piece with a note sheet and
this
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is not related to their nationality or any other demographic information.
For instance
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, should a Persian violinist decide to participate in recording a song in Italy, she may not face much trouble understanding the
music
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.
Thus
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,
music
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can bring
people
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from different nations closer and beneficial in their communications. In conclusion,
although
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music
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can play a crucial role in connecting
people
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around the world because of its unlimited nature, I believe that the reasons that prevent
this
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connection,
Correct your spelling
outweigh
it outweigh
itoutweigh
Correct pronoun usage
ititoutweigh
show examples
.
Submitted by miladahmadi9619 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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