IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #waste #time #school #students #literature
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There is a controversial perspective heating a debate that absorbing literary knowledge is unnecessary for students after graduation from secondary school.
While
this
 statement is valid to some extent, I comparatively do not uphold
this
 notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, going through a literary learning journey stands people in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good stead in the future, especially when they are looking for a job.
With a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 high understanding of literature,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can practically help people
in selecting
Wrong verb form
select
show examples
 proper words in order to write different kinds of essays fitting
with
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apply
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various circumstances.
For example
, writing-related occupations
such
 as journalists and reporters have to frequently provide abundant neat articles which can satisfy readers.
Therefore
, having a long time cultivating their writing sets of skills,
in particular
 vocabulary and
grammar
Add the comma(s)
grammar,
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 do wonders for their line of career.
Hence
, students require many literary honing if they want to embark on
such
 vocations.
While
 the redeeming features of learning literature in working fields are widely acknowledged, it
also
 lends a hand in provoking student’s pride
of
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in
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nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. There are numerous precious documentaries which were written to remind people of the hurdles and hardships that our forefathers went through in history. The Independence Declaration of Uncle Ho - the greatest man in Vietnam - can be cited as a compelling example
for
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of
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 the sacrifice of our ancestors when they fought tooth and nail to devote themselves to the building of the nation.
Thus
, reading literary stories is a favourable way to raise residents’ patriotism. In conclusion, it is important for high school students to squander their time in studying literature since it is of tremendous benefit.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction that presents the topic, body paragraphs that extensively elaborate on your arguments, and a conclusion that summarises your perspective. You've done well in this area, but making your transition between ideas even smoother could further enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your argument would benefit from a more nuanced exploration. Consider both sides of the argument more thoroughly to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue. This will show your ability to engage critically with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides good examples, but try to integrate these more seamlessly into your arguments. Make sure that each example directly supports the specific point you are trying to make in the same paragraph. This will make your argument stronger and more cohesive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fostering
  • cultural heritage
  • critical thinking
  • empathy
  • analytical thinking
  • emotional intelligence
  • articulate
  • relevant
  • contextualize
  • globalized
  • comprehension
  • reasoning abilities
  • perspectives
  • moral dilemmas
  • culturally literate
  • cross-cultural communication
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