IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Do you agree or disagree that it is important to have loyal employees inorder for the company to be successful

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Nobody can deny that it is important to have loyal
employees
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 for a
company
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. I feel
this
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 way for the following reasons.
Firstly
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, the loyal staff are typically willing to
work
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 wholeheartedly, promoting a better understanding of the
company
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 and boosting productivity.
Secondly
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, Because they have worked for a long time from when the
company
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 was small to larger, they understand more than anyone else how to operate the
company
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, the financial situation, the culture, the working environment, and even the owner's personality.
Thirdly
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, loyal
employees
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 tend to be loyal, and less likely to switch jobs. That
also
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 creates temporary pressure on the organization and
company
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 management regarding their policies to retain these individuals. On the one hand, The
company
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 must develop a special remuneration policy including salary increases, full benefits, social insurance, vacations, and a good working environment.
On the other hand
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, managers provide recognition to
employees
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, motivate
employees
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 to
work
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 together, and remove obstacles preventing effective performance,
employees
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 feel more obligated to stay with the
company
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. Plus, Bod of management creative career path to retain competent
employees
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.
In addition
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, Especially for female
employees
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, companies must have some actions that can be applied at the organizational level to retain good
employees
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as well as
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 support balance between
work
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 and family life. As we know, everything has two sides: good and bad. The good side is as I mentioned above.
In addition
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, for long-term
employees
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 (working at the
company
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 for more than 10 years),
besides
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 the advantages, there will be disadvantages
such
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 as: working mechanically, stereotypically and having no innovation initiative because they are so used to that job. What is most worrying is the discrimination between new and old
employees
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, leading to an unfair working environment and not attracting good people to
work
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 long at the
company
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. In short, I appreciate that the
company
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 should retain its loyal
employees
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.
Besides
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, the
company
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 needs to have fair and timely policies to create the best working places.

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introduction
You should create a clearer introductory statement that specifically outlines your stance on the topic and briefly introduces the points that you will discuss. This helps to guide the reader and prepares them for the structure of your essay.
conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear concluding paragraph that summarizes the points you've made and reaffirms your stance on the topic. This is important in signaling to the reader that you have completed your argument and provides closure to your essay. Include a cohesive conclusion that reinforces your view.
logical structure
Aim to structure your essay with a clear progression of ideas, using paragraphing effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting points. Additionally, transitional phrases should be used to connect ideas within and between paragraphs to create a seamless flow throughout the essay.
supported main points
For a higher band score, expand on your main ideas by providing more specific examples and a deeper analysis for each point. Rather than stating that loyal employees understand the company better or are crucial for success, explain why this is the case and how exactly it contributes to company success, providing concrete examples when possible.
complete response
While you've provided a general response to the prompt, strive to offer a more complete answer by laying out all aspects of the question and addressing them comprehensively within your essay. Your response should be well-developed, with clear arguments that are directly relevant to the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Enhance your ideas by elaborating on them more comprehensively, ensuring that they are clear and detailed. The reader should be able to understand the depth and nuances of your opinion. Avoid general statements and focus on making your points clear and articulate.
relevant specific examples
While you touched on a variety of ideas, aim to include more relevant and specific examples that support your argument. These examples should be directly tied to the notion of employee loyalty and its impact on company success. Examples can be drawn from hypothetical situations, research findings, or your personal or observed experiences.
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