It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

People
encounter
risks
occasionally in their daily lives, and decisions
remains
Change the verb form
remain
show examples
to be made
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
to take the
risks
or not. Personally, I would argue that the advantages of taking
risks
outweigh the disadvantages. I cannot deny that taking
risks
has certain demerits. Failure is something that always accompanies risk-taking, making
people
frustrate
Wrong verb form
frustrated
show examples
and even
claim
Wrong verb form
claiming
show examples
innocent lives.
For instance
, when the space shuttle, the Challenger, fell into the sea,
people
critisized
Correct your spelling
criticized
criticised
about the cost of
takin g
Correct your spelling
taking
show examples
such
great
risks
in
space
Add an article
the space
show examples
program, and the disaster brought huge grief to the victims' families.
However
, I still hold the
belif
Correct your spelling
belief
that taking
risks
possesses great merits.
Firstly
, the desire to
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
risks
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started ever since we were children. Remember those adventures you took in the woods when you were little, you might
got
Change the verb form
get
show examples
scratches and bruises, but these cannot be compared with the
excitemnt
Correct your spelling
excitement
of you seeing new creatures and exploring areas.
Second,
it is
due to
those brave
people
steeping
Correct your spelling
stepping
show examples
out of their comfort zone that
people
could lead different lives. Without the scientists taking the risk of experiments failure,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
would be no achievement in the scientific field. If it is not for the courage of politicians taking the
risks
of making changes in
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
rules,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society would have no progress. For ordinary
people
like you and me, it is probably the
risks
we took,
instead
of the tedious repetitive work we did, that shaped us
who
Change preposition
into who
show examples
we are today. In conclusion, despite the frustration that
people
might encounter when taking
risks
, I'm still a supporter that
people
should take
risks
, with the advantages outweighing the disadvantages.
Submitted by yuetongli98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: