IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. “Parents should not pressure their children to choose a particular profession. Young people should have the freedom to choose a career path they like. To what extent do you agree or disagree?” You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #“parents #pressure #children #profession #people #freedom #career #path #support #arguments #evidence
Due to
 advancements in technology and evolving
job
 opportunities, it is important that
students
 choose the right professions that are relevant to the current market trends and demands.
while
 some people believe that children should always aim to become great engineers and doctors , others believe that learners should be given full freedom to decide on their careers. In my opinion, learners who choose their own profession are more successful in life
due to
 their passion to
work
 and eagerness to learn in that particular field.
Firstly
, the
students
 who are forced to take a particular a particular
job
 type, usually find their
work
 very stressful and ultimately might even leave their
job
.
For instance
, studies have shown that many nurses who migrated to foreign nations have left their profession and returned to their own countries
due to
 extremely stressful
work
.
Hence
, it is vital that pupils choose career paths up to their interests and ambitions in life.
Secondly
, the
students
 who choose their own line of
work
 have shown greater professional excellency and often enjoy what they do. These individuals are the ones who turn out to be great scientists and doctors in future
due to
 their dedication and passion towards
work
. The development of a nation is highly dependent on
such
 people.
Hence
 it is pivotal that we identify each one's area of interest and allow them to pursue the
job
 they wish to take. To summarize, new jobs are evolving frequently
due to
 improvements in internet technologies. The
students
 who choose their own career paths without pressure from their parents are more successful in their profession
due to
 their passion to
work
 in that
job
 line and the effort they put to learn the skill.
Submitted by robinraju04 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: