IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. “Parents should not pressure their children to choose a particular profession. Young people should have the freedom to choose a career path they like. To what extent do you agree or disagree?” You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #“parents #pressure #children #profession #people #freedom #career #path #support #arguments #evidence
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Due to
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 advancements in technology and evolving
job
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 opportunities, it is important that
students
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 choose the right professions that are relevant to the current market trends and demands.
while
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 some people believe that children should always aim to become great engineers and doctors , others believe that learners should be given full freedom to decide on their careers. In my opinion, learners who choose their own profession are more successful in life
due to
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 their passion to
work
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 and eagerness to learn in that particular field.
Firstly
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, the
students
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 who are forced to take a particular a particular
job
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 type, usually find their
work
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 very stressful and ultimately might even leave their
job
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.
For instance
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, studies have shown that many nurses who migrated to foreign nations have left their profession and returned to their own countries
due to
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 extremely stressful
work
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.
Hence
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, it is vital that pupils choose career paths up to their interests and ambitions in life.
Secondly
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, the
students
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 who choose their own line of
work
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 have shown greater professional excellency and often enjoy what they do. These individuals are the ones who turn out to be great scientists and doctors in future
due to
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 their dedication and passion towards
work
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. The development of a nation is highly dependent on
such
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 people.
Hence
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 it is pivotal that we identify each one's area of interest and allow them to pursue the
job
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 they wish to take. To summarize, new jobs are evolving frequently
due to
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 improvements in internet technologies. The
students
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 who choose their own career paths without pressure from their parents are more successful in their profession
due to
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 their passion to
work
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 in that
job
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 line and the effort they put to learn the skill.
Submitted by robinraju04 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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