Nowadays, people are not as fit and healthy as they used to be in the past which creates health issues in the long the run. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

Recently, many researchers have stated that the physique of

people

in general is not as prime as before.

This

condition

also

causes them to be prone to sickness in the future. Personally, I believe the advancement of technology and the growth of fast food chains are two essential factors for that to happen.

However

, it is possible for us to fix

this

issue by moderating our behaviour and being more active in

life

Firstly

, for the

last

50 years, technology has been growing quickly supporting us to do things in a more effective and efficient manner.

People

require less and less work or energy to finish their jobs.

This

easeness

also

gives them more free time to spend on other daily

life

activities.

However

, many individuals rather spend their excess time on unproductive activities like watching TV and scrolling around the internet than do healthy tasks like sports.

Additionally

people

nowadays

also

have easy access to fast-food restaurants. They are everywhere,

in addition

to selling cheaper menus with faster serving time. Many

people

who are attracted to that convenience are unaware of the health impact it has brought.

Furthermore

this

builds a bad consumption habit that could detriment their health in the long run.

However

, we could avoid

this

problem by implementing a self-moderation policy. Individuals should be able to enjoy

life

by watching entertainment or eating junk food, but occasionally. It is

also

suggested for us to do more physical activities.

This

will help us balance our energy level and increase the production of happiness hormones, which in the end will improve the

overall

of our

life

quality.

Submitted by gurunnevada on Tue Jan 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, organizing ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences is good practice. You should ensure that each paragraph focuses on one central idea. Additionally, using a range of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, synonyms, and referencing words would strengthen your essay.

Task Achievement

For task achievement, you're on the right track, but consider developing your ideas further with more specific examples. You could cite studies, statistics, or provide real-world scenarios to illustrate your points, which will make your arguments more persuasive and complete.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
physical inactivity
processed foods
caloric intake
obesity
cardiovascular diseases
diabetes
health awareness
preventive measures
corporate wellness programs
public health initiatives
behavioral change
motivational strategies
dietary choices
exercise regimen
urban planning
mental wellbeing
smart technology
genetic factors
personal accountability

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The devolopment of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think it will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken. Andvantages and disadvantages.
Some people argue that as we live only once we need not save our income instead spend it now and enjoy the moment. Where as on the other hand, some argue that saving money for the future is very important because life is very unpredictable and as a result there is a chance we may use that money. Apart from this early retirement is only possible with right financial planning. I completely agree with this view of not spending too much and saving some part of our salary.
7
band
With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. What Are The Advantages And Disadvantages Of This Trend ?
Indisputably, technology is being developed at an incredible pace and used more than ever before. This trend has been beneficial for humanity because many tasks are now being done much faster and more precise, however, there is a flip side to this coin and that is the possibility of many workers becoming unemployed in the future. In this essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.
5.5
band
It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together?
Nowadays, the family connection is not considered to be the most important aspect of life ,especially in the younger generation. Several factors are believed to be responsible for this issue such as resentment between generations due to different points of view, miscommunication, etc. However, this problem is not too late to solve with the right approach which will be discussed in the following essay.
7
band
Both men and women care about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Fashion is one of the most famous trends nowadays between both genders. It is undeniable that both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. This topic can be quite debatable, but I strongly agree with it.
4.5
band
In many countries people are now living longer than over before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benifits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
All over the world, the elderly people each increase then the birth rate in decline. Although there are several advantages of in my opinion the elderly people each increase creates problems for governments then there are benifits. Of society it can have some disadvantages as well. I would argue that positive sides of this can outweigh the negatives.

Nowadays, people are not as fit and healthy as they used to be in the past which creates health issues in the long the run. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The devolopment of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think it will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken. Andvantages and disadvantages.

With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. What Are The Advantages And Disadvantages Of This Trend ?

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together?

Both men and women care about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?