IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays people tend to have their own business because of the modern world. Why do they need this? What are the risks?

#people #business #world #risks
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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary epoch, a plethora of youngsters
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 willing to have their private projects. Owing to the fact that if a
person
Use synonyms
 has his own project, freedom is the price. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, both needs and the risks of having a private
business
Use synonyms
 will be
further
Linking Words
 explained. On the one hand, some people are of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
belief that owning a
business
Use synonyms
 will let a
person
Use synonyms
 feels free.
In other words
Linking Words
, when a
person
Use synonyms
 has his own cafe or market, he will be his own manager, and
this
Linking Words
 leads to freedom in one's life, as he does not have a supervisor who always forces him to do tasks and extra jobs. A salient example is people in Canada who prefer to have their own side hustles, and
this
Linking Words
 leads to the feeling of freedom because they are not supervised by another
person
Use synonyms
 in their work.
Hence
Linking Words
, what can be said is that owning a project may have a psychologically benign
effect
Use synonyms
 on a
person
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a plethora of economists
hold
Change the verb form
holds
show examples
 the belief that having a small project can lead to
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 failure. To clarify, when myriad citizens in think of having their own side hustles, companies will fail to have any workforce, and
this
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 will have a malignant
effect
Use synonyms
 on a
country
Use synonyms
's economy because these factories are not producing goods that a
country
Use synonyms
 may export to other countries. A prominent example is citizens in Egypt who always think that they must own a private
business
Use synonyms
, and
this
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 has a prominent
effect
Use synonyms
 on the
country
Use synonyms
, as the number of employees has dwindled.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can be said that not only do private businesses have a malignant
effect
Use synonyms
 on large factories, but they
also
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 have a deleterious
effect
Use synonyms
 on a
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that
although
Linking Words
 the idea of having a private
business
Use synonyms
 may be good for people, it may have a prominent
effect
Use synonyms
 on a
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ahmadhassan1694 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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