Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however ,say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some
people
argue whether increasing the number of
sports
facilities
is effective in order to improve public
health
.
While
laying out public
sports
facilities
are important for
people
to increase their average healthy level,I do believe the effects on public
health
are
limitted
Correct your spelling
limited
to some
people
and other essential methods should be taken. On the one hand,as we all know, ordering a
sports
court to play some ball games or going to a gym to
work
out is so expensive that many ordinary
people
will quit exercising their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. If the government increases the public
sports
facilities
, it will benefit lots of
people
who like
sports
but have no money for spending on
sports
facilities
. It will be accessible and possible for them to go out to play
sports
games or
work
out.
On the other hand
, I am keen to believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
sports
facilities
have limited influence on most
people
.
Firstly
, for the majority of working men who often have to
work
extra time ,working is so hard that they have limited time to do exercise after finishing
work
. So even though the
facilities
are accessible to them, the problems can not be solved.
Secondly
, for some
people
who are not familiar with the methods of using the
facilities
correctly ,it will bring a potential risk of injury without professional
guides
Replace the word
guidance
show examples
.
such
as heavy gym equipment.In my opinion, the most serious issues of public
health
are mental disease from
work
-life imbalance, bad eating habits under pressure and the conception that they should value their physical and mental
health
.
Therefore
, just adding more equipment is not enough to level up the healthy situation publicly so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Other measures are required,
such
as transferring some funds to healthy food projects, publicizing schemes to make
work
and life balance to diminish the pressure level,
as well as
new policies which help ordinary
people
gain more even resources associated with medical and hospital
systerm
Correct your spelling
system
. To be concluded,
while
the benefit of increasing
sports
facilities
is obvious for the public, I do believe that the effects are little and more strategies from different angles should be considered by the government.
Submitted by wang-my on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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