IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Today’s teenagers struggle with many social issues. Some people think that is because their parents are spending more time at work than at home. Do you agree or disagree?

#today’s #teenagers #struggle #people #parents #time #work #home
Parents
 are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 paramount part of
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 life . Nowadays ,
Correct article usage
an enermous
show examples
enermous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 number of
parents
 are
hardly
Replace the word
hard
show examples
 working and they have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
time
 even for family , more precisely for their
children
. A plenty number of
youngster’s
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters’
show examples
 social problems
caused
Add a missing verb
are caused
show examples
 by
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
parents
Replace the word
parental
show examples
 support . I
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 agree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
 . In general ,
children
 are tiny creations who need someone's
assitance
Correct your spelling
assistance
, and it is obvious that
this
 role is suitable for their mother and father. Human values like kindness and happiness can be
gotton
Correct your spelling
gotten
 by
relationship
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
show examples
 with
parents
 ,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it can be unnoticed.
For instance
 , all we know about kids and teenagers from
Add an article
the orphanage
an orphanage
show examples
orphanage
Fix the agreement mistake
orphanages
show examples
, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
points out
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of true love and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
kindness from
mother
Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
show examples
, same situation with certain youngsters whose dream is
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
time
 with mothers and fathers.
Consequently
 ,
children
 will become more and more violent, and
this
 is one of the most popular issues
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our society.
In addition
 ,
parents
 ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aren't only a partner to share
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
happiness and other values ,they are
also
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lifelong
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
.
Firstly
, every parent should be a mirror or an example to follow, and without
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 teenagers can imitate someone
bad
Change the adjective
badly
show examples
,
such
 situations reflect us importance of teachers as a father who can help to distinguish good and bad .
Secondly
 , cause of unspent
time
 with the family, little ones will feel alone, not only in the home
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
 in
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
society
Change preposition
of society
show examples
. In conclusion, the are plenty number of important factors
such
 as being together and getting true
mother’s
Fix the agreement mistake
mothers’
show examples
 love that can protect them from the issues . Eventually, I believe that
parents
 must spend enough
time
 with their
children
Submitted by Deadline 8th April IELTS on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: