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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period.

The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period.
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The pie graphs depict information about the alteration people of two continents Australia and Germany visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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other countries from 1960 to 2010. After analysing the pie charts, it can be seen clearly that a negligible difference was seen in the
percentile
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percentage
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 of tourists reached
to
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apply
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the USA from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Australia in
the
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both years. The population interested to go Britain was 45% collectively in the given period. The proportion of human beings who went to Europe was 53% and 10% in 1960 and 2010, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, a difference of
a
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apply
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half was seen in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Asia. Moving
further
Linking Words
, 45% of citizens of Germany arrived
to
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Europe in 1960,
while
Linking Words
 in 2010, it declined by 5%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 10% of commoners were going to Asia, but almost twofold in the later
year
Use synonyms
. In 1960 and 2010, a nearly identical ratio of humans
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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visited
in
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apply
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the USA. In the case of
Britain
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,Britain
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 it was the region where 20% of the public stayed in 1960
as well as
Linking Words
 it decreased by 16% in the
last
Linking Words
year
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that the maximum percentage of Australian to the Europe in
former
Add an article
the former
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year
Use synonyms
, whilst in the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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year
Use synonyms
 the minimum
commoners
Correct quantifier usage
number of commoners
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 visited
in
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apply
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the USA.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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