There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
In the modern era,
students
face a lot of pressure related to getting good marks in their Use synonyms
education
. Use synonyms
Thus
, Linking Words
people
argue that Use synonyms
co-curricular
Use synonyms
activities
like Use synonyms
sports
and cooking should be removed from the Use synonyms
school
syllabus because in Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
students
waste their Use synonyms
time
.Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
people
argue that after removing Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
students
will pay more attention to their Use synonyms
studies
. I don't agree with the statement and I will discuss both points of view in the given paragraphs.
To commence with, many Use synonyms
people
argue that there should not be any task in the Use synonyms
studies
of Use synonyms
students
which has a negative effect on their Use synonyms
studies
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
people
think that Use synonyms
students
go to Use synonyms
school
for the sake of Use synonyms
education
and their parents spend a lot of money on them for the betterment of their lives. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
instead
of studying in Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
students
start playing in the schools.Use synonyms
Thus
, they start participating in non-essential Linking Words
activities
and they waste so much Use synonyms
time
playing. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, in many schools, the Linking Words
time
for their physical Use synonyms
sports
period has been decreased because Use synonyms
students
have started doing harmful things.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, In my point of view, Linking Words
co-curricular
Use synonyms
activities
are very necessary for the development of Use synonyms
students
because Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
activities
make Use synonyms
students
more confident and they start believing in themselves.Use synonyms
As a result
, their Linking Words
education
starts becoming more better. Use synonyms
Moreover
, these Linking Words
co-curricular
Use synonyms
activities
make Use synonyms
students
leaders. Use synonyms
For instance
, when I was studying in Linking Words
school
I had problems with my Use synonyms
education
and my Use synonyms
sports
teacher suggested to regularly take part in Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
activities
. Use synonyms
As a result
, I became more disciplined in my life which positively affected my Linking Words
studies
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, I think Linking Words
co-curricular
Use synonyms
activities
have a lot of benefits as compared to drawbacks. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, schools should create a clear division of Linking Words
time
for Use synonyms
students
to play and study. These Use synonyms
activities
like physical Use synonyms
education
should be part of the Use synonyms
school
syllabus because they make positive changes in the Use synonyms
students
.Use synonyms
Submitted by mifzalrizwan2 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument and your position. The introduction should set a clear context for the discussion that follows.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with ample supporting evidence and explanations. In your second body paragraph, provide more specific examples to illustrate the benefits of co-curricular activities.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in discussing points of view. Avoid abrupt transitions between arguments. For instance, integrate opposing views more smoothly before countering them with your own perspective.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work for minor grammatical errors and punctuation to improve readability and flow. For example, add spaces after periods and commas and use conjunctions to connect related sentences.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion by presenting both points of view before giving your opinion, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps to deliver the message clearly.
task achievement
The examples and personal experience you used help to support your arguments effectively, making your essay more relatable.