There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
In the modern era,
students
face a lot of pressure related to getting good marks in their education
. Thus
, people
argue that co-curricular
activities
like sports
and cooking should be removed from the school
syllabus because in such
activities
students
waste their time
.Moreover
, people
argue that after removing such
activities
students
will pay more attention to their studies
. I don't agree with the statement and I will discuss both points of view in the given paragraphs.
To commence with, many people
argue that there should not be any task in the studies
of students
which has a negative effect on their studies
. Moreover
, people
think that students
go to school
for the sake of education
and their parents spend a lot of money on them for the betterment of their lives. For instance
, instead
of studying in school
students
start playing in the schools.Thus
, they start participating in non-essential activities
and they waste so much time
playing. Furthermore
, in many schools, the time
for their physical sports
period has been decreased because students
have started doing harmful things.
On the other hand
, In my point of view, co-curricular
activities
are very necessary for the development of students
because such
activities
make students
more confident and they start believing in themselves.As a result
, their education
starts becoming more better. Moreover
, these co-curricular
activities
make students
leaders. For instance
, when I was studying in school
I had problems with my education
and my sports
teacher suggested to regularly take part in sports
activities
. As a result
, I became more disciplined in my life which positively affected my studies
.
To sum up
, I think co-curricular
activities
have a lot of benefits as compared to drawbacks. Furthermore
, schools should create a clear division of time
for students
to play and study. These activities
like physical education
should be part of the school
syllabus because they make positive changes in the students
.Submitted by mifzalrizwan2 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument and your position. The introduction should set a clear context for the discussion that follows.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with ample supporting evidence and explanations. In your second body paragraph, provide more specific examples to illustrate the benefits of co-curricular activities.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in discussing points of view. Avoid abrupt transitions between arguments. For instance, integrate opposing views more smoothly before countering them with your own perspective.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work for minor grammatical errors and punctuation to improve readability and flow. For example, add spaces after periods and commas and use conjunctions to connect related sentences.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion by presenting both points of view before giving your opinion, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps to deliver the message clearly.
task achievement
The examples and personal experience you used help to support your arguments effectively, making your essay more relatable.