Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

It is believed that every day

children

spend time on their technology dives. In my point of view, I think the negative of taking risks outweigh the positive development. On the one hand,

smartphones

help

children

's lives be more convenient and flexible. In education, when

children

have a difficult task or want to learn some new knowledge, they can search the information on the internet by phone.

Hence

, students could self-learning and improve their study skills. In society,

children

can communicate with their friend and their family easily by texting and calling on

smartphones

. Especially for

children

who are studying aboard, it can still connect with their family from a far distance.

On the other hand

, individual technology dives have a negative influence on

children

's lives too.

First,

children

are unfocused in their studies when spending too much time on

smartphones

. In fact,

children

use

smartphones

as a tool to entertain

Change preposition

apply

show examples

suffering

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

social, texting with friends, and

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

videos,...

Therefore

, most of the time will spend on entertainment, not on education.

Second,

smartphones

will limit the ability of today's generation to communicate. Nowadays,

children

are too dependent on technology dives

instead

of going outside to communicate.

For example

, in Viet Nam

children

got used to video calling or chatting on social media which will make them become more unconfident than talking face to face. In conclusion, we can not deny the positive development that

smartphones

bring to

children

's lives.

However

, the effect of using

smartphones

will harm

children

when they use them incorrectly.

Submitted by nttung.182 on Mon Mar 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is notable that the majority of victual goods contain an immense amount of carbohydrates which contributes several health issues such as diabetes and obesity. It is believed that by increasing the prices of manufactured sugary products, people will tend to tone down their sugar intake. From my point of view, I think this is not a good idea and disagree that such an imposition on sugar-sweetened food and drink.
7
band
Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. What are the main advantages of banning private education? Are there any circumstances ehre private education should be allowed? What is your own opinion on the matter?
It is a well-known fact that education has been the most essential in people's lives throughout history. Nowadays, it is provided by both public and private schools. Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be held up by the government and private studies should be banned. However, there are circumstances where the private school should be encouraged. In this essay, we will discuss both points with relevant examples and evidence.
7
band
Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages of relying to much on technology?
These days, modern technology is widely used in the majority of workplaces. In my opinion, this has helped companies to save a lot of money; nevertheless, there are some disadvantages that can be noted when they depend on technology too much.
6
band
Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged by some people that moral ethics need to be educated by the police, whereas others argue that families should take care of behavioural education of their children. In my opinion, child development starts at the early stage in families and parents should be responsible to teach what is good or bad, in addition, educational institutions should collaborate with them at middle and high school stages.
7
band
Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, countries usually spend a lot of profit to educate young learners while there is a statement saying that it should be used to create more physical activities for the younger generations. The author strongly agrees that the government should be concerned more about the money used for free time activities of young people to help them improve their health and mentality.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages of relying to much on technology?

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?