Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performance on the screen and no need to watch it live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#entertainment #performance #screen

These days,

due to

the development of technology, we can enjoy most

entertainment

activities through the screen and no need to go outside as we did in the past.

However

, there are certain aspects that watching online can not bring to the audience,

therefore

, I claim that I partly agree with

this

statement. It cannot

deny

Wrong verb form

be denied

show examples

that watching

entertainment

performances online has its outstanding advantages. First of all, it gives people a comfortable zone to enjoy the shows.

For example

, we can sit on the sofa with a popcorn bag and watch a Netflix movie on the TV's big screen,

instead

of going to the cinema. It will ensure an extremely satisfying feeling for the audience.

Moreover

, we can save money for those activities if we watch them online. By using technology devices at home like televisions, and smartphones, viewers will have full-watching experiences with less amount of money than enjoying them in person.

However

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

remains

Correct subject-verb agreement

remain

show examples

some disadvantages that are not able to

offer

Wrong verb form

be offered

show examples

to the viewers. Even though watching online

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

its own benefits, it cannot replace the direct watching method for some reasons.

Firstly

, watching the performances live will offer a realistic feeling to the audience. For me, coming to the venue and enjoying the

music

show are the ideal ways to immerse in

music

and the air of the concert,

for example

. On top of that, it offers chances to meet new friends and form new relationships. There are so many people who become best friends after watching the shows together

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and strengthen their friendship through the same activities.

Last

but not least, it can be seen as a way to support your idols to continue working in the

entertainment

industry. Buying a

music

concert ticket and coming to enjoy the live show are some effective ways to cheer the artists up and support them

to make

Change preposition

in making

show examples

music

for instance

. In conclusion, I only agree with

this

opinion partly after considering the benefits and drawbacks of it. On top of that, choosing any type of

watching

Verb problem

apply

show examples

entertainment

performances

Fix the agreement mistake

performance

show examples

are depend

Wrong verb form

depends

show examples

on each person's personality and purpose.

Submitted by vananhtran01112 on Mon Mar 13 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

350 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
accessibility
variety
engaging
real-time
performing arts
interaction
emotional connection
spontaneity
authenticity
immersive
sensory experience
virtual reality
audience participation
curated
cultural heritage
relevance
social interaction
public opinion

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the rise of the social media has a affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communicatton outweigh the disadvantages?

Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. do you agree or disagree?

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. Why is that? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion?