IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

One of your neighbor’s children has accidentally broken the front window of your car. You should write a letter to his/her parents and in your letter you should • introduce yourself • explain how it happened • and what they should do.

#neighbor’s #children #front #window #car #parents
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My name is Teens Potsy, your next-door neighbour and I am writing to inform you that your son, Timmy, accidentally broke the front passenger window of my brand new Volks Wagon Golf
while
 playing cricket yesterday afternoon. As you know it is rainy season now and
this
also
 affects the situation since I am not able to use the car because of the broken window. Hopefully, your car insurance will cover the damage. Please check with them to see if it can
cover
Wrong verb form
be covered
show examples
. If so, please inform me in time. Perhaps we could meet
this
 Sunday afternoon to discuss our options. In case you are not available at that time please let me know so that we would be able to make an appointment for some other time. Thank you in advance for your kind. Yours Sincerely, Teens Potsy
Submitted by tinotendamandapotsekayi on

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task response
The letter generally responds to the task by introducing the writer, explaining the situation, and suggesting a course of action. The expression of politeness could be improved to increase appropriateness.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the letter is generally clear, with a proper introduction and explanation. However, the greeting and closing could be improved for better formality and politeness.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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