Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In
this
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day and age, little ones are exposed to a variety of stimuli by their mobile phones. An important part of society might feel worried about
this
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modern reality,
although
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others believe
this
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is a common activity that helps children to be more qualified. From my point of view, I agree with the stated notion; that boys and girls should use their smartphones, as much as possible, just in case they will investigate something useful. In
this
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essay, I will try to explain why the new generation tends to be
a
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apply
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tech-savvy,
while
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they are using modern phones, and give some arguments to support my viewpoint.
This
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modern culture is encouraging the youth to use their phones throughout the day.
For instance
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, schools often take advantage of
this
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technological source, as they offer plenty of study material from many sources,
such
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as PDF files, applications, and webpages that can be easily viewed by a smart device.
In addition
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, social media has become one of the most popular sources of communication,
as well as
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, a vital place to get distracted by consuming videos and viral content.
Due to
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these facts, youngsters might be extremely close to their phone devices. Fortunately, there is a positive aspect of allowing our kids to use their smartphones.
This
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is
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means
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, they can reach tons of essential information that could make them more qualified in a variety of areas
such
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as science, mathematics, music, technology and more, though. The big deal is that progenitors should implement strategies to close access to specific web pages, like adult content, that could contaminate our kids' minds. In conclusion, It is quite fundamental to permit little ones to
implement
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use
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their smartphones in order to acquire valuable knowledge,
although
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parents have to monitor what kind of information their sons and daughters are consuming. Should wards be aware of
this
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, the younger generation will be well educated.
Submitted by oscarsanmo on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay presents an introduction and a conclusion, try to enhance the logical flow by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using cohesive devices and linking words can help in achieving this.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support the points made, especially when discussing the influence of smartphones and the strategies parents can use. Specific examples will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Refine the thesis statement to make it clearer. Currently, the main point about children using smartphones needs to be more directly stated.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, clearly stating and summarizing the main ideas.
task achievement
There are relevant and structured arguments present which address the topic effectively.
task achievement
The use of vocabulary is diverse, showing a good understanding of the topic and related issues.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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