IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?

#parents #children #consequences
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It is considered many families tend to do whatever their teenagers want them to do and fulfil their requirements easily.
This
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 essay will highlight some points which are inappropriate for their
children
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such
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 as undervaluing the parents' respect and could have negative outcomes in the future like being unable to develop in
work
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 fields.
To begin
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 with, fulfilling the needs of
children
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 could lead them not to respect the elders and be given amenities.
In other words
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, If youngsters could have on the spot what they ask for by not
doing
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making
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 an effort for it, they would not know the value of these
things
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 how their parents get for them.
For instance
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, An Indian newspaper "The Turbune" revealed news about celebrity
children
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, saying that 85% of these
children
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 insult their parents in the front of media.
Thus
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, Giving
things
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 easily to juveniles not only could minimize their affection toward elders
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but would be careless about the
things
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 they get easily. Shifting toward the consequences of
this
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 direction once they grow up they would not be able to thrive in
work
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 fields. To explicate, If youngsters
will
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do
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 not
make
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do
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 hard
work
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 on the
things
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to get
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apply
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they are craving ,
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 not broaden their minds. which could limit their mindset and
can
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apply
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create obstacles in future.
For example
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, the University of Toronto found that the students who have full amenities
such
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 as own cars and the latest technology, act as distract their minds from studying and usually do not acquire desired marks in order to pass the class.
Therefore
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, They could be unable to reach a prime position in their job field because of a lack of knowledge. In conclusion, Giving everything to the
children
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 in one word could not only steer them to disrespect the elders and hard
work
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 on earning
things
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 but,
also
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 create a distraction in their studies to avoid getting high marks. which could have detrimental effects on their future life.
Submitted by mandeepsinghsony2022 on

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task response
Ensure that all aspects of the question are addressed clearly and fully.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be more clearly presented, and the essay should be structured in a more logical manner.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
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