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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many students find it is harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in grade school. Why is this? What are some possible solutions for this problem?

In modern society, it is commonly observed that
students
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 who learn tertiary study have difficulties compared to their secondary school. In
this
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 essay, the main causes of the phenomenon and possible solutions will be examined in turn.
To begin
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 with, there are some obvious causes of the issue.
Firstly
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, university
students
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 have quite different ways of learning. To be specific,
students
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 used to follow their teachers or do homework in their secondary school.
In contrast
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, they are often required to do assignments, attend lectures a few times a week and write long essays, meaning that there are a lot of activities they should complete themselves.
For example
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, university
students
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 should read hundreds of pages in a book for one lecture, which can put
students
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 under too much pressure.
In addition
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, complex
time
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 management is another reason.
Time
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 management becomes more complicated because
students
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 demand to complete their assignments, academic activities, research and even visit career fairs at the same
time
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 since competition in the job market is getting worse.
On the other hand
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, a couple of steps could be considered by schools and individuals to tackle the problem. In terms of individuals,
students
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 have to find the best way to manage their
time
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 for their lives, which is one of the essential skills in life, and
therefore
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 they should develop practical
time
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 management skills.
For example
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, they can use smartphone applications
such
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 as calendars and to-do lists.
Moreover
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, large companies should cooperate with universities, and
therefore
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 they often allow
students
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 to get opportunities that
students
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 are able to experience in job internships. It would be beneficial for companies because they can secure their future talented employees. In conclusion, there are some ways to tackle the issue
such
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 as cooperation with companies and learning how they control their
time
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.

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Task Achievement
Try to directly address the question in both the introduction and conclusion to make your position clearer.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly by expanding on examples and explanations. While you've included examples, additional depth could further strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all parts of the paragraph coherently support that idea. This will enhance the organization and flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Experiment with a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more clearly and to vary sentence structure.
Coherence and cohesion
You've effectively structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Good use of examples to support your ideas, enhancing the relevance and depth of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully covers the causes and solutions, ensuring a complete response to the essay prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-directed learning
  • Time management
  • Critical thinking
  • Independent study
  • Complexity
  • Academic support
  • Study skills
  • Workshops
  • Orientation programs
  • Financial aid
  • Work-life balance
  • Tutoring services
  • Self-discipline
  • Depth of understanding
  • Higher education
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