Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. Others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While

it is argued by some people that

promotions

bring lots of benefits to our lives, it is considered to cause disadvantages by others.

Although

the latter idea includes some truth, I believe the advantages of advertising are more significant in terms of expanding chances to improve our lives. Some people insist that people suffer from the adverse effects of

promotions

because they sometimes exaggerate information, which results in deceiving consumers to buy unexpected items. Since most advertisements are designed to focus just on merits, with a minimum description of alarms, it is necessary for buyers to be careful about the spec of merchandise not to spend waste money.

This

negative impact encourages the government to make rules for

promotions

to protect consumers.

However

, I believe that the upsides of advertising outweigh these downsides in several points.

Firstly

this

system allows customers to compare products, which enhances the probability of purchasing items with satisfaction.

This

is because

promotions

can provide a variety of necessary information to customers and opportunities to select the most suitable items based on their preferences.

In addition

, thanks to the new business model using ads effectively, a variety of entertainment,

such

as e-comics and movies, can be enjoyed for free on smartphones these days.

For example

, YouTube has become popular because multiple users upload fascinating movies, and others can appreciate them without fees.

This

system can work since the company earns profits through advertising.

To sum up

although

there are drawbacks of leading customers to waste money, I conclude that the benefits from

promotions

have great influences on our current lives through providing useful tips and free amusements.

Submitted by r.sakamoto126 on Tue Mar 14 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. Others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Many museum charge for admission while many others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?