Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

#people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children

Every age group in our society, including children, consume a lot of information via newspapers ,

Correct your spelling

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shows and social networks.

This

has made the content reported by the media vital. Celebrity report has been on the rise and more than ever before published about them in every publication.

This

has raised concerns about the adverse effects of celebrity news on our kids, with which I agree.

Firstly

, a regular spotlight on celebrity lifestyle and updates can push back another serious topic in society. With the broadcast of their favourite actor or actress regularly on TV, children may be distracted from other important updates in their city. Thereby, making them less aware of any positive or negative developments in their area.

For example

, local news may advertise a famous actor visiting their town and take younger viewers' attention away from important events shown before

this

advert.

Secondly

, publishing a famous individual's extravagant lifestyle and wealth can create unrealistic expectations in a kid's mind. Excessive coverage of an individual's physique or way of life can demoralize people in their early stages of life. They will idolize these icons and feel ashamed if they

failed

Wrong verb form

fail

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to live up to their standard of living.

For instance

, there have been cases reported in

news

Correct article usage

the news

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about teenagers feeling ashamed that they cannot afford clothes worn by their favourite celeb portrayed in a magazine.

To conclude

, covering celebrities through publications has led teens and toddlers in our society to ignore or be less aware of actual issues around them.

Additionally

, excessive reporting of a superstar has led to children having an unrealistic standard of lifestyle and wealth.

Submitted by jarora0390 on Wed Mar 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined and developed. The ideas are well supported, but the structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence and flow.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. Relevant specific examples are used effectively to support the arguments.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Celebrity culture
Glamorization
Unrealistic expectations
Self-esteem
Scandals
Role models
Moral development
Mental health
Influence
Exposure
Social media platforms
Charity work
Inappropriate behavior
Perfection image
Negative impact
Inspire children

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