Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #robbery #attacks #adults

It is sometimes believed that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished equally as adults.

This

essay strongly disagrees with

this

suggestion as now will be discussed. The first argument behind my belief is that young criminals are mostly found to have poor school attendance, which is solely the fault of their parents. The failure to attend school as a daily routine instils in children that they do not have to comply with social norms and that they can do as they please.

For example

, if they had proficient care from their parents or other family members, they could establish good habits and have strong discerning power to stay away from doing bad things.

Hence

, it would be unfair to sentence young crimes as same as adults

due to

the difference in the level of social awareness. Another point worth mentioning is that young incarceration may have complex threats to the emotional and physical well-being of children. Incarcerated juveniles who are in their main physical development stage often have unmet health needs when being in jail and may face subsequent worse health status than their non-justice-involved counterparts.

Also

, ex-offenders are more likely to face suspicion and prejudice after release which may erode depressive symptoms.

For instance

, it would be extremely challenging for released prisoners to apply for a decent job or to rent a house. The consequent economic hardship can perpetuate the vicious cycle of recidivism. In

this

manner, harsh retribution is not suitable for juvenile crimes for its disastrous consequences. In conclusion, I entirely disagree that young people should be punished as same as an adult given the aforementioned arguments.

Submitted by hoanmy2101 on Wed Mar 15 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, secondary school aims to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is better?

In some countries crime rates aroong teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are the couses of this problem and what can be done to solve it?

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

In some cities, there is less control over the design and construction of new homes and office buildings. People can build in whatever style they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

More people today put their personal and private information online (address, telephone number, credit card number) to do everyday activities such as banking, shopping, and socializing. Is this a positive or negative development?