IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for children to learn how to distinguish between right and wrong by carrying out punishments you agree or disagree with this ?

#children #right #punishments
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Just as
children
Use synonyms
 receive rewards to reinforce good deeds or house chores well done, they should
likewise
Linking Words
 be allowed to serve
punishments
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 when they are wrong or do something bad. I agree with
this
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 assertion and
further
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 reasons would be
expantiated
Correct your spelling
expatiated
expatriated
expiated
 on to support my argument.
Punishments
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 are meant to correct and reform
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 character when there's a deviation from what is socially acceptable.
Moreover
Linking Words
, knowing when to initiate the use of
such
Linking Words
punishments
Use synonyms
 goes a long way to perform
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 job. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 before
a
Remove the article
apply
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punishment is
metted
Correct your spelling
meted
matted
 out the age of the child should be considered.
This
Linking Words
 will help to achieve our aim,
for instance
Linking Words
 giving a two years old 5 strokes of
cane
Correct article usage
a cane
show examples
 as a form of rewarding him/her for something wrong done will not attain a positive outcome.
This
Linking Words
 child does not understand the gravity of the
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
 committed nor the strokes of
cane
Correct article usage
the cane
show examples
 received.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 there are different forms of
punishments
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 and rewards which I think
parents
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 and guardians should learn in order to bring out the best
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
children
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. Gone are the days when
parents
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 could be seen exerting so much strength in whipping their kids for one wrong or the other. In recent years,
parents
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 are more likely to deny
children
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what they love as a form of punishment or
giving
Wrong verb form
give
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 the kids time-outs which
helps
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help
show examples
 to shape their character. I think
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as much as we want to help these
children
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 grow to become the best versions of themselves, we must put in measures to prevent some
parents
Use synonyms
 and guardians from going overboard. There should be laws by governments to punish them too.
Submitted by philominaakose on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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