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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Major cities have become too big and overcrowded. Why is this the case? What are some possible solutions to this?

#cities #case
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Due to
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 urbanisation most of the megacities have become more crowded. I strongly believe that the main
problems
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 are the few residential
facilities
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 and government
services
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 and the rise in the unemployment rate.
Firstly
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, the main cause of immigration from rural to the cities is fewer residential
facilities
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 and authority
services
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.
In other words
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, when
people
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 move from the outskirts they might find some
problems
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 finding a place to their accommodation because big societies do not have enough
facilities
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 for everyone.
For example
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, when my relative immigrated to Tehran the capital city of Iran faced much different trouble to find a place to live.
Secondly
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,
this
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 might make much trouble for the government too. On the one hand, they must improve their
services
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 to cover all walks of life in society,
on the other hand
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, they must come with no big budget to facilitate urban areas in all communities.
For instance
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, the government should create more train stations and buses to present better transportation
services
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.
In addition
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, to the first problem that I mentioned in the previous ,paragraph I do believe the rise in the unemployment percentage is another cause that societies experience
due to
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 becoming overcrowded megacities.
That is
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 to say, if the urban area becomes more populated it will lead to fewer job opportunities for all walks of life.
For instance
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, with an increase in
this
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 trend line finding an empty seat in big towns has become a laborious task for everyone because there are a lot of candidates for a job. In terms of tackling these
problems
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 the governments should put some rules on the table to restrict
people
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 from immigrating some rules
such
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 as paying more taxes if they want to change their accommodations
Moreover
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, the limitation of places that
people
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 can live in is another solution to eliminate these
problems
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. In conclusion, In the number of cities pollution of humanity is causing many
problems
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such
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 as fewer
facilities
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 for
people
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 to use and growth in the rate of the unemployment rate.
Submitted by mahdiniknejad on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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