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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections #summarise #features #comparisons
This
 pie chart depicts information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. It is clear
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 the graph
that is
Correct article usage
a predect
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predect
Correct your spelling
predict
 percentage of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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btween
Correct your spelling
between
two
Correct article usage
the two
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country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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. According
what
Change preposition
to what
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 is shown, we can see
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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 of Yemen in 2000 young
people
 had half ratio
50.1
Change preposition
of 50.1
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%,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 46.3%,
old
Correct word choice
and old
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people
 had the lowest ratio in the community
3.6
Change preposition
at 3.6
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%.
While
 Yemen in 2050 the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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population
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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, young
people
37.0
Change preposition
at 37.0
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%,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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57.3
Change preposition
at 57.3
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%,
5.7old
Correct word choice
and 5.7old
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people
.
Wheare
Correct your spelling
Where
 the
population
 of Italy in 2000
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 had a big proportion
61.6
Change preposition
of 61.6
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%, old
people
 24.1% ,
young
Correct word choice
and young
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people
 14.3%, but
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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 of Italy in 2050
change
Wrong verb form
changed
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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46.2%, old
people
 42.3% , young
people
 11.5%.
To sum up
, we could say
that is
 a big
chalinge
Correct your spelling
challenge
change
 for tow county.
Submitted by keekrztop on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, people, adult with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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