IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, responsible tourists have paid attention to preserving both the culture and the environment of the place they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a responsible tourist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #tourists #attention #culture #environment #place #visit #people #tourist
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is considered that foreigners' responsibilities in protecting both the culture and the environment
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the places where they are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
are being paid attention
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
In contrast
, several people convey that there is no possible way to be a responsible
tourist
. In my personal opinion, I strongly disagree with
above
Add an article
the above
show examples
 statement, as
tourist
Add an article
a tourist
show examples
 should understand their personal choice
as well as
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of
possesion
Correct your spelling
possession
.
To begin
 with, becoming a responsible
tourist
 is a personal choice in order to respect the local traditions and cultures.
For example
,
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 folks who are coming from
Western
Add an article
a Western
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, when they want to
visit
 Eastern
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, mainly temples,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should grasp the local rules before entering them. Wearing a sarong,
dress
Wrong verb form
dressing
show examples
 appropriately, tie their long hair are vast sums of nice examples of respecting the local culture.
Therefore
, if tourists are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 small things
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 in their
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
, becoming a
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
tourist
 will be not a challenging demand.
Secondly
, the tourists are supposed to have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 feeling of
possesion
Correct your spelling
possession
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the places they
visit
.
This
 feeling leads to
Correct article usage
the responsibilty
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to keep the cleanliness of the places they
visit
.
For instance
, if they
visit
 new temples and they fall in love with the exquisite scenery around
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, admire how green it is, and spend plenty of time in
this
 place, they will be connected with
this
 place.
As a result
, they will not make any harmful things
such
 as
throw
Wrong verb form
throwing
show examples
 rubbish recklessly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and feel guilty when they are unable to keep the area
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 more beautiful. In conclusion,
while
 other people say it is impossible to be a responsible
tourist
,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 there are two major acknowledgements that can help
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 the tourists' responsibilities.
Submitted by srianggreni0802 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: