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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your Opinion about this?

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In some parts of the US, a rule which is named "Curfew", claims
teenagers
Change noun form
teenagers'
teenager's
show examples
 right to be outside the house after a certain hour in the evening without any adult beside them. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a good one and is helping to protect youth from dangers. Curfew can bring a safer living environment for
teens
Use synonyms
. In fact, after the rush hours, most parts of the city become empty of others and folks head to their home to get ready for the next business day.
In addition
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 to the less crowded streets, darkness helps offenders to show up. Needless to say, young folks usually seem to be an easy target , and
according to
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 their low level of experience, they are persuaded to commit crimes easily.
For instance
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, they may attend to offensives and become partners in crime by selling drugs,
while
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 they have no idea about the consequences. Criminals are not the only ones who make nights more hazardous.
Additionally
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, addicts usually prefer darks to be outside.
In other words
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, there are some individuals who are affected by some substances which make them more violent to their surroundings.
This
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 situation sometimes results in arguments, physical harassment
in particular
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, between them and
teens
Use synonyms
 who are at the vulnerable age of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
puberty.
Hence
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, accompanying
teens
Use synonyms
 by an adult not merely can prevent them from dangerous conditions, but
also
Linking Words
 make them able to learn from their guardians' reactions in difficult situations. In conclusion, I think rules like Curfew can spring positive aspects in society and result in safer neighbourhoods for
teens
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure you have a clear opinion throughout the essay. The introduction should clearly state your stance on the curfew, and the conclusion should reinforce your viewpoint without introducing new topics.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more focused and detailed examples. Illustrate your arguments with specific scenarios or reference verified data and statistics to solidify your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by including clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that preview the main idea. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to demonstrate flexibility in your writing. This can involve combining shorter sentences, using a mix of complex and simple sentences, and employing a range of linking words.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
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