As a result of electronic inventions such as television and copmuter, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#inventions #television #copmuter #people #activity #effect #health

In the current world, electronic devices have been developing, which has negative impacts, especially. It reduces the rate of doing

sports

This

essay will give reasons as to why I agree with

this

circumstance. First of all, there is an undeniable fact that

people

's lives are more comfortable with technical inventions, but it reduces the level of doing

sports

For example

people

prefer watching series or films on online platforms

such

as Netflix, Disney etc.

Such

things are more interactive than doing

sports

, especially for children and teenagers. The level of obesity number increase because of

this

problem.

Secondly

, children and young adults spend too much time

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

playing online games.

Therefore

, there may be crucial health issues in the eyes and their effect on

people

's seeing ability.

For instance

, because of the invention of smart tablets, babies are dangerous at younger since they can not have control systems which are harmful to these.

Additionally

people

's personalities are detrimentally affected by insufficient

sports

For example

, if

people

do not

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

time with their families, their communication level will decrease, and when they need support from their families, their problems will increase. After all things, they will have stress and anxiety.

To sum up

, everything that has been stated so far,

people

's decisions have been changing after important technological inventions. In the past,

people

used to play with handcraft toys,

whereas

today, they prefer playing online games.

On the other hand

this

situation has harmful effects on health, which are eyes problem, obesity issues and mental distress.

Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on Thu Mar 16 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As a result of electronic inventions such as television and copmuter, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Look at the graph showing worldwide rice consumption.

Some people believe you are never too old to learn. How strongly do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You have a spare room in your Apartment that you would like to rent out to a student. Write a letter to your Student Accommodation Officer of local college and say 1. Where is your apartment located? 2. When will the room be available 3. What are the requirements for a student to stay?

You are going on a short training course at a college in Sydney, Australia. You need somewhere to live while you are there. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter: explain your situation describe the accommodation you require say when you will need it