IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fast food is becoming pert of life everywhere, negatively affecting our lifestyles and diets. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#food #life #lifestyles #diets
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Eating junk
food
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 every
day
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 is becoming a pressing issue around the world, but the significant impacts on their
diets
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 and lifestyles are unsettling globally. The author of
this
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 essay agrees that fast
food
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 brings terrible
health
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 and a lack of eating experiences. One of the primary reasons is negatively influencing their
diets
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, which can affect consumers with a dramatic disadvantage when they have bad
health
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 after eating fast
food
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. There is no doubt that fast
food
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 contains a lot of fat and at least nutrients for consumers.
For
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this
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 reason, they have more difficulty in digestion and it becomes a key way to suffering overweight and some diseases.
Moreover
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, junk
food
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 exacerbates their
health
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 when it does not provide abundant necessary nutrition for each body. Take the example of the young generation that has the highest consumption of fast
food
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 annually, the percentage of teenagers having vulnerable
health
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 and suffering overweight in some big cities has consistently increased trend.
In addition
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, they badly get cancer at a young age when they maintain
this
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 unhealthy and unbalanced diet
day
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 by
day
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.
As a consequence
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, eating fast
food
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 has overwhelming harmful influences on both lifestyles and
diets
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 by a lot of elements. Another silent point is that the consumers are alleviated
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 eating experiences throughout their lives. It is common knowledge that
ailment
Correct article usage
the ailment
show examples
 being consumed should be changed every
day
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 because of the demanded consumption of necessary nutrition and vitamins. They
also
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 miss their chances to try on some new flavours from other traditions and countries. It is a well-known fact that people today prefer to try on unusual flavours and experience some other traditional
food
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 from many countries.
Thus
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. people lead a relatively inactive lifestyle with limited opportunities to serve more and more ailments.
To sum up
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,
this
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 essay has shown that the bad habit of
being consumed in
Wrong verb form
consuming
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 fast
food
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 has lots of negative dramatic impacts on both their lifestyles and
diets
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.
Hence
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, getting terrible
health
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 and the lack of
food
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 experiences are two of the primary solutions.

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear thesis statement; however, it should be more concise. Try to summarize the main points without adding too much detail.
logical structure
Work on making your points more distinct and easy to follow. Each paragraph should clearly focus on one main idea to avoid confusion.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points. This can help make your arguments more persuasive and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some sentences could be clearer and simpler. Ensure each idea is fully elaborated before moving on to the next.
complete response
The essay successfully addresses the prompt by discussing the negative effects of fast food on health and lifestyle.
logical structure
Effective use of transitional phrases such as 'Moreover' and 'As a consequence' helps to guide the reader through the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the initial thesis.
supported main points
The essay presents clear and logical arguments backed with some relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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