IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In marriages today, some argue that it is the responsibility of both spouses to earn a living for the family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#marriages #argue #responsibility #spouses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In marriages today, some argue that it is the responsibility of
both
Use synonyms
spouses
Use synonyms
 to earn a living for the family. In my opinion, responsibility is the most important obligation in every marriage, and
both
Use synonyms
spouses
Use synonyms
 should strive to make
money
Use synonyms
 in every marriage, but it depends on their circumstances. On the one hand, people with a cooperative mindset can live better with other people. When every spouse works and tries to make
money
Use synonyms
 to make a better
life
Use synonyms
 with her husband or his wife, they can understand that time is vital and making
money
Use synonyms
 is difficult.
For example
Linking Words
, in shopping, women normally buy more than men, and if women know about how they can make
money
Use synonyms
 they are more appreciative of the
money
Use synonyms
, and they save more
money
Use synonyms
 and buy less.
In addition
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 of them can perceive better about spending time together and trying for a good
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have some
spouses
Use synonyms
 who want to earn a living for the family, but considering the situation, they cannot
work
Use synonyms
 together. It depends on their conditions, some conditions may exist that one cannot go to
work
Use synonyms
 to earn
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some people want to continue their education after marriage, so they cannot go to
work
Use synonyms
, and they should study and go to college for education. Another example is for any spouse who has a disability or may not have any functional skills, so one of them should go to
work
Use synonyms
, and have more struggle (struggle more) to earn more
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, striving for a calm
life
Use synonyms
 and understanding how to make more
money
Use synonyms
, and appreciating
life
Use synonyms
 is vital for
both
Use synonyms
spouses
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, but it depends on every spouse for better
life
Use synonyms
 circumstances.
Submitted by Ravin_kh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: