Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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People have different views about whether or not receiving
money
Use synonyms
as a gift on teenagers' birthdays is one of the most incredible presents.
While
Linking Words
some people disagree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
opinion, I support those who believe that a financial award is crucial. On the one hand, there are some teens who are passionate about taking many things except
money
Use synonyms
on their special days.
For instance
Linking Words
, many girls are usually keen on various flowers,
such
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as roses and tulips. They would rather receive them
instead
Linking Words
of
money
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as their moods improve when they see or even smell flowers.
Furthermore
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, a lot of young people want to celebrate their birthdays,
hanging
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by hanging
show examples
out with their friends or relatives. They do not think that
money
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is vital for them since they consider that spending time with their loved ones is better than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cash.
Although
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several teenagers do not would like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial gain, I believe that
money
Use synonyms
is very crucial among all teenagers, nowadays
due to
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some reasons.
Firstly
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, if their households and friends provide them with
money
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, they can do anything they want.
For example
Linking Words
, they may buy necessary things which are
depend
Replace the word
dependent
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on their studies.
Secondly
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,
money
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creates many great opportunities for them.
For instance
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, they might collect all
money
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which is given
them
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to them
show examples
on their birthdays by their family members.
As a result
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, they can use
Linking Words
this earnings
Change the determiner
these earnings
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for their future, going abroad or purchasing luxurious items.
Moreover
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, they might spend
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
on
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
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, which is the best activity in the world. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
some think that there are many more important things than
money
Use synonyms
to receive on
Correct article usage
the days
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
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that they were born, I promote those who consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cash
is
Change the verb form
to be
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the best gift.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • budget
  • save
  • informed spending decisions
  • personal preferences
  • practical and efficient
  • unwanted or inappropriate gifts
  • impersonal
  • emotional value
  • thoughtfulness
  • personal consideration
  • wise financial decisions
  • frivolously
  • lasting memories and experiences
  • educational courses
  • hobby-related equipment
  • long-lasting positive impact
  • fostering interests and skills
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