Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

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Fashion

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is an important part of today’s human culture. It has a tendency to influence the ways of individuals in terms of dressing and their

hairstyle

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. In my opinion, it is a positive and negative development for society.

This

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essay will discuss

this

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issue comprehensively. On the one hand,

fashion

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has contributed to economic growth since it enhances the local and national industries of a country. It means that the trend of

fashion

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is perceived as a potential business. Taking Indonesia as an example, the veil

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

one of the most popular fashions among Muslim women in the

last

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two decades. The great number of

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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potential buyers, since Indonesia is the most populous Muslim nation, is the main reason why the veil industry has been rising significantly.

Hence

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this

Linking Words

industry, from homemade businesses to big manufacturers,

becomes

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

economic

Correct article usage

an economic

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activity which contributed to national economic growth.

On the other hand

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fashion

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particularly in

hairstyle

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, in many cases, can lead to misbehaving among

people

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. A punk

hairstyle

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for instance

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, is usually associated with gang-related crime.

Furthermore

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this

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kind of

hairstyle

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brings some stereotypes which

people

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may think that they are rebellious or uneducated.

Consequently

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, youth who find themselves under the influence of

this

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type of

hairstyle

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, are considered to lack self-esteem and threaten local and national cultural identity. In conclusion,

fashion

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determines how

people

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choose their dresses and

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hairstyle

Fix the agreement mistake

hairstyles

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I would argue that it has positive and negative development as well. On the one side, it brings advantages for economic advancement, and on the other side, it has detrimental effects on

people

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such

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as a lack of confidence in their cultural identity.

salwafahanimFri Mar 17 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay responds fully to the prompt. Include a clear and specific opinion on whether the influence of fashion is predominantly positive or negative. Also, make sure to address all aspects of the question in a balanced manner.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, structure the essay with clear introduction and conclusion to improve coherence.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Genetically engineered food is an important issue in modern society. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.