Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#people #fashion #clothes #hairstyle #development

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Fashion

is an important part of today’s human culture. It has a tendency to influence the ways of individuals in terms of dressing and their

hairstyle

. In my opinion, it is a positive and negative development for society.

This

essay will discuss

this

issue comprehensively. On the one hand,

fashion

has contributed to economic growth since it enhances the local and national industries of a country. It means that the trend of

fashion

is perceived as a potential business. Taking Indonesia as an example, the veil

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

one of the most popular fashions among Muslim women in the

last

two decades. The great number of

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

potential buyers, since Indonesia is the most populous Muslim nation, is the main reason why the veil industry has been rising significantly.

Hence

this

industry, from homemade businesses to big manufacturers,

becomes

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

economic

Correct article usage

an economic

show examples

activity which contributed to national economic growth.

On the other hand

fashion

particularly in

hairstyle

, in many cases, can lead to misbehaving among

people

. A punk

hairstyle

for instance

, is usually associated with gang-related crime.

Furthermore

this

kind of

hairstyle

brings some stereotypes which

people

may think that they are rebellious or uneducated.

Consequently

, youth who find themselves under the influence of

this

type of

hairstyle

, are considered to lack self-esteem and threaten local and national cultural identity. In conclusion,

fashion

determines how

people

choose their dresses and

hairstyle

Fix the agreement mistake

hairstyles

show examples

. In

this

essay, I would argue that it has positive and negative development as well. On the one side, it brings advantages for economic advancement, and on the other side, it has detrimental effects on

people

such

as a lack of confidence in their cultural identity.

Submitted by salwafahanim on Fri Mar 17 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay responds fully to the prompt. Include a clear and specific opinion on whether the influence of fashion is predominantly positive or negative. Also, make sure to address all aspects of the question in a balanced manner.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, structure the essay with clear introduction and conclusion to improve coherence.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: – A brief introduction of yourself – Your experience and relevant skills – Why you want the job