In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Many cities worldwide are repurposing open
spaces
and public parks into farmland. While
this
trend encourages people to eat more vegetables and connect people during planting activities, the lack of a place to exercise and live outweighsoutweighs
the benefits.
Undeniably, the cost of organic produce is rising, making urban farming an attractive solution. By providing a space for cultivation, urban farming can reduce food expenses and promote healthier eating habits. Correct your spelling
outweighs
For instance
, individuals can grow their own vegetables, thereby reducing their grocery bills and promoting fitness through gardening.
Furthermore
, public spaces
play a crucial role in community building. For instance
, residential gardens can serve as a platform for public activities, fostering connections among neighbors
. Parents can use gardening as a shared activity with their children, providing a space for frequent interaction and mutual understanding.
Change the spelling
neighbours
However
, constructing a new garden can lead to a need for more exercise places. Because of the large population in some cities such
as Ho Chi Minh City or Ha Noi, there would be no more spaces
for public parks and community areas if everyone owned gardens. Finding a place to meet friends and exercise without money can be difficult.
Additionally
, the disadvantages can be observed when overpopulation worldwide becomes more serious. This
is because these changes result in no more spaces
for housing, contributing to the increase in house prices. In Ha Noi, many workers from the young generation cannot afford to buy their own house and have to rent it for an extended period.
In conclusion, the lack of public and living places outweighs the high consumption of healthy products and connecting people. Thus
, the government should research how to improve citizens' lives.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of repurposing public parks and open spaces into gardens. However, the introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement, and the conclusion could be more impactful. Try to clearly state your position in the introduction and summarize the main points effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the coherence between paragraphs. While the essay generally flows well, there are some abrupt transitions between ideas. Using more transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, some points require further development and clearer examples. For example, when discussing community building and overpopulation, providing more specific examples and exploring these points in greater detail would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples, like mentioning specific cities (Ho Chi Minh City and Ha Noi), which helps ground your argument in real-world contexts.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally logical, with separate paragraphs for different points, which aids in the overall coherence of the piece.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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