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Band 6

Nowadays people are moving to urban areas from rural areas what are the reason and what problem can cause

#people #areas #reason
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 rural
people
 are moving to urban
areas
 because of modern facilities and to have career
opportunities
 but
due to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 urban
areas
people
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
problems
a problem
show examples
problems
. In
this
 technological
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
 there are many internet sources like mobile phones, personal computers, laptops etc from which mobile phones
are commonly use
Change the verb form
are commonly used
show examples
 by everyone even in rural
areas
.
People
 from rural
areas
 are taking advantage of these sources and getting to know about everything which can be useful for them.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 Compared
litracy
Correct your spelling
literacy
 rate of
olden
Correct article usage
the olden
show examples
 days in rural
areas
 has been increasing day by day.
People
 are getting educated and doing respected jobs in MNCs,hospitals,
schools
Correct word choice
and schools
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
urban
Add an article
the urban
an urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 to have a better life. In order to save the travelling
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
people
 are shifting to
metropolitian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
 cities and
also
 for facilities which they cannot find in rural
areas
.
However
, population growth
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been increasing rapidly and
this
 outcoming many
problems
 like job
opportunities
 ,
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
 etc. As we all know, India is a developing country and there are some
areas
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 in still under
Add an article
the developing
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developing
Replace the word
development
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 stage and in
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
 to
this
 if
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 goes on increasing there will
no
Add a missing verb
be no
show examples
 good
opportunities
 will
left
Change the verb form
be left
show examples
 for
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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 generation.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 many
people
 are already shifting abroad in order to grab
opportunities
 in other countries because there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no more great
opportunities
 left in their own country.
However
, govt should develop the rural
areas
 by setting up all facilities for
people
such
 as building hospitals, companies etc to overcome
such
problems
.
To sum up
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, if
people
 get new
opportunities
 in rural
areas
then
 we can encounter
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems
 with
this
 solution.
Submitted by sameerkm on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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