Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People hold differing views on whether
competition
in various aspects of life, such
as work, education, and daily activities, is beneficial or if cooperation
should be prioritized. In my opinion, both competition
and cooperation
play essential roles in achieving success
, and a balance between the two is most effective.
On the one hand, competition
can foster personal growth by instilling resilience and determination. When individuals
strive to win and refuse to accept failure, they often push themselves beyond their limits, developing key traits such
as perseverance and ambition. For instance
, Cristiano Ronaldo, widely regarded as one of the greatest footballers of all time, attributes much of his success
to his competitive spirit, which drives him to continuously improve. His relentless pursuit of excellence demonstrates how competition
can inspire individuals
to achieve extraordinary outcomes.
On the other hand
, the ability to collaborate is equally vital in today’s interconnected world. Humans are inherently social beings, and most significant accomplishments require teamwork. Firstly
, successful collaboration enables the pooling of diverse skills and perspectives, which can lead to more innovative solutions. In modern workplaces, for example
, employees often work across departments, combining their expertise to solve complex problems more efficiently. Secondly
, cooperation
fosters a sense of community and strengthens relationships among individuals
. In turn, this
can reduce conflicts and increase the likelihood of long-term success
in both personal and professional settings. Therefore
, while
competition
can drive personal achievement, cooperation
is essential for creating synergies that benefit everyone.
In conclusion, although
competition
can motivate individuals
to reach their full potential, cooperation
is crucial for achieving collective goals. In my view, success
in both personal and professional life requires a careful balance between these two forces.Submitted by 110308036 on
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task achievement
Consider making an even clearer distinction between competition and cooperation in different contexts to enhance depth. Perhaps, provide additional examples to illustrate how each approach works in various settings.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. While the current transitions are good, refining them further can increase overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to incorporate a few more linking words and phrases to further enhance coherence and cohesion. Although your current use is quite effective, a few more connectors could make your points even clearer.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt very well, providing a balanced discussion of both competition and cooperation.
task achievement
The use of Cristiano Ronaldo as a specific example adds depth and clarity to your argument about the benefits of competition.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-crafted, effectively framing your discussion and opinions.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, and you effectively combine broad ideas with specific examples.
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