IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People in the modern world have a greater number of health problems compared to people in the past due to the fact that they have an unhealthy eating habit. Do you agree with the statement?

#people #world #health #fact #habit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there is an increasing number of individuals who are unhealthy
due to
Linking Words
 their bad habits with
food
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with the statement because, compared to the past,
people
Use synonyms
 are more influenced by social media and television when it comes to eating. One of the main reasons that lead to a decline in
people
Use synonyms
's health is overweight. When someone starts to gain extra pounds, there can be serious consequences to their body, but
also
Linking Words
 their mind.
For example
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from obesity, heart disease and diabetes caused by eating too much but
also
Linking Words
 from a lack of exercise.
In addition
Linking Words
, weight
people
Use synonyms
 make excuses in order to avoid doing physical activities like they just want to rest or sleep.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, they will not know how bad it is until it's too late.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can mention that today
people
Use synonyms
 rely more on fast
food
Use synonyms
 and packaged
food
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of choosing a healthy way of eating.
This
Linking Words
 problem is more common among the youth as they don't want to cook their
food
Use synonyms
 but prefer to order it online.
For instance
Linking Words
, college students often order their
food
Use synonyms
 by using online systems like 'Delivero' or 'Just it' which offer junk
food
Use synonyms
 for the most part.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should prepare more healthy
food
Use synonyms
 that provides them with enough calories and proteins so they will not have weight problems. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should understand that being healthy is necessary to prevent many complications which could lead to death. A good way to achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal is to be more active by doing regular exercise and
also
Linking Words
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a balanced diet.
Submitted by cice on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: