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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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It is thought by scientists that there are two different types of
mindset
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, namely fix and growth. Fix
mindset
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 is when
people
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 rely on their talents and inherited abilities, meanwhile,
growth
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a growth
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mindset
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 develops
an
Correct article usage
the
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 idea that if you work hard enough, you can achieve success in any sphere.
Although
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 the majority of
people
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 argue that
growth
Correct article usage
a growth
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mindset
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 brings just benefits, others believe that
this
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 outlook can cause a myriad of problems. In
this
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 essay, I will dwell on both points of view and provide my perspectives.
To begin
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 with, the idea that you can reach any goal by working hard and following your dream, helps
people
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 become purposeful and believe in themself. In
this
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 case, it does not matter whether you are talented and rich or not, you can always accomplish success. The only thing you have to do is work as hard as you can to fulfil your potential and all other things will come as a by-product of your efforts.
On the other hand
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, a lot of
people
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 claim that
this
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 approach is not universal and even can harm
people
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, especially teenagers. Unfortunately, sometimes regardless of how much you try to achieve something it is impossible to do. In
this
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 moment
people
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 with
this
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mindset
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 feel a myriad of pressure.
Moreover
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, they think that the reason for failure rests just on their shoulders and do not take into consideration external circumstances.
As a result
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,
people
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 get depressed and even can commit suicide if someone does not help them. In conclusion, I tend to believe that
this
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 idea has both advantages and disadvantages and in order to use
this
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mindset
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 properly
people
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 have to develop critical thinking. In
this
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 case, they will have the ability to realise when is necessary to work harder and when is important to change external conditions.

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examples
Consider providing specific examples or scenarios to illustrate your points. For instance, mention situations where someone achieved success through hard work or where the pressure from a growth mindset led to negative outcomes.
clarity
Strengthen your thesis statement in the introduction. A clearer outline of the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss can help guide the reader.
cohesion
Improve the clarity of your ideas by using more varied sentence structures and transitions between ideas. This will enhance the flow of your argument.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is important for coherence.
content
You present both sides of the argument, which shows your understanding of the topic and allows for balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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