These days we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television and this is having a negative impact on children's beahaviour.do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #beahaviour

Television is one of the most familiar's entertainment devices for everyone.

However

, there is growing sentiment today that there are a lot of violent

actions

on television shows and films. From my point of view, I strongly believe that violence has a negative effect on

children

. First of all,

Children

tend to learn from something, some

actions

as they see. They copy what they see every day and do that in the same situation.

For example

children

usually watch a film with

content

about school bullying and they see that other students feel scared and obey

children

who bully and beat them. From that point, if they want to be a boss with power, they need to fight and bully each other. If their parents do not know about

children

's mindsets and do not teach them about the consequences of that

actions

children

are easily affected by negative

actions

Secondly

, Violent

content

has a negative effect on

children

's mental and emotional health.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

children

become sacred after eating horror movies or films with lots of fights, they feel like something is coming to attack them.

This

in many ways can not be good for them emotionally. To sum it up, I think it is better to raise well-rounded

children

and confident

children

than

children

engulfed in fear because of terrifying

content

on television In conclusion, violent

actions

bring many disadvantages for the growing-up of each child. To preserve

children

from some negative

actions

and keep their minds clear and healthy, parents and teachers should take care

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

of their

children

, limiting

this

kind of

content

and

also

teaching them how to avoid violence.

Submitted by khanhlinh151123 on Sat Mar 18 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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These days we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television and this is having a negative impact on children's beahaviour.do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

An increasing number of doctors and professors are leaving their poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does it cause and what are the solutions.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars.

Many people think it is very important to protect the environment but they make no effort to do it themselves. Why do you think this is the case? What actions should individuals take to protect the environment?

Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skills. What are the causes? Suggest possible solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience You should write at least 250 words.