IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have a huge negative impact on young people and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that social networking sites, especially Facebook, have an enormous harmful influence on
people
Use synonyms
as well as
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 societies. In my opinion,
while
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 I totally agree that social networks have a disadvantageous impact on individuals, the influences on society are positive actually. On the one hand, there are various negative impacts of social platforms on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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users.
First,
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social
media
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such
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 as Facebook, which
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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 entertaining video or games, is relatively addictive to many
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, some individuals are glued to their
phone
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phones
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 and neglect other essential activities like exercising and learning new skills, which may result in serious mental
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 like depression.
Second,
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media
Use synonyms
 channels can be seen as a major source of real interaction disruption. Nowadays, many younger
people
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 choose to make friends online rather than
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 out to meet new
people
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 in the real world, and virtual relationships generally lack the depth of connection and authenticity.
On the other hand
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, platforms not only bring economic value but
also
Linking Words
 help prevent the spread of viruses during the Covid-19 epidemic. Most social
media
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 allow companies to conduct business and consumers to go shopping online, which helps boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cash flow and profits.
For example
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,
people
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 just stay home, choose anything they want to buy and it will be delivered to their door, which means that
people
Use synonyms
 can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time and fees for transportation.
Moreover
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, the benefits of social connection are even more evident during the epidemic. Quarantine when communicating via virtual platforms is an excellent and effective method to prevent the spread of the virus. In conclusion, the appearance of social
media
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,
although
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 detrimental to its individual users, brings about many benefits to society.
This
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 invention may have positive effects on
people
Use synonyms
 if they are aware of their self-control.

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