IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that TV advertisements have benefits, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and include examples from your experience.

#people #tv #advertisements
A few individuals opine that visual advertising of products on television is quite beneficial,
while
 others do not support
this
 notion. In my understanding, the former view is advantageous as it leads to increased knowledge of recent advancements in products and services. Commencing with the prominent reason why the first statement is accepted by some people, it displays a detailed description of a specific item. To elaborate, whenever these advertisements are shown on TV screens, it includes a vivid clarification regarding usage, composition and benefits of an item in daily routine.
This
,
therefore
, guides the human population to choose an object wisely from an ample number of items under the same category.
Moreover
,
such
 type of broadcasting on television sets upgrades the kids at a younger age regarding current models that are launching in present times,
as a result
, they would have diverse general knowledge skills at an early age.
On the other hand
, there are a few drawbacks to repeating the telecast of these ads. First of all, it does not only glue the children to screens
such
 as the visual of a kinder joy chocolate, which attracts a small child but
also
provoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
provokes
show examples
 them to purchase irrelevant objects which are of no use. In today’s world, the young crowd is getting fascinated by mobile phones by watching different advertisements on
such
 devices, which imbalances the
overall
 budget in order to fulfil
such
 demands.
To conclude
,
although
 these visuals cause a surge in unwanted requirements, one must not turn a blind eye towards the merits it would have in terms of adequate information,
that is
 need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 an hour
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 picking up an adequate facility or product. It is fair to
mandatorize
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 to its judicious use, rather than misusing it.
Submitted by Yogita  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!