Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

At present,
people
hold divergent opinions on the meaning of receiving higher
education
in college. Some individuals argue that it is beneficial to graduates' career development,
while
others contend that it is a blessing for both the masses and society as well. Personally, I reckon that advanced
education
in
universities
can exert positive effects on the public and society in equal measure. On the one hand, attending
universities
help
students
gain a competitive edge in job seeking.
To begin
with, when interacting with their peers and tutors on campus, young
people
can learn how to compete, collaborate and compromise with each other, which enables them to stand out from the crowds among
fierce
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the fierce
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competition in the job market.
Additionally
, it is in the
universities
that youngsters can access a large number of pragmatic courses, which can equip graduates with professional knowledge.
Due to
the fact that a majority of professions require employees to have relevant qualifications, only when
people
master professional skills and obtain educational degrees successfully, can they have the opportunity to gain a foothold in some specific areas.
On the other hand
, as for the communities, the merits of university
education
cannot be overlooked.
Firstly
, moral and ethical values are imparted to
students
in
universities
, which are of great significance to cultivate law-abiding citizens. With more
people
being educated, the whole society will undoubtedly become more harmonious and more stable.
Secondly
, higher
education
lays
foundations
Correct article usage
the foundations
show examples
for the advancement of cutting-edge technologies. Majoring in scientific subjects,
such
as chemistry and artificial intelligence,
students
can make contributions to carrying out scientific research, thereby surmounting some thorny issues like several contemporary fatal diseases. In conclusion, in spite of the divergent opinions towards the function of university
education
, I am adamant that both college
students
and communities can benefit from it.
Submitted by Evalynn on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, however, to enhance them, provide a clearer thesis statement and summarise your arguments more effectively in the conclusion. Reflect your personal opinion with greater clarity in both sections.
Coherence and Cohesion
While some main points are supported, include more detailed development of ideas. Expand on your arguments with richer elaboration and varied sentence structures to reinforce your points.
Task Achievement
Ensure a complete response by addressing all aspects of the prompt. You need to clearly express your viewpoint and discuss both sides equally. It's crucial that the essay remains well-balanced in the discussion.
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Ideas need to be presented more comprehensively. Aim for greater depth in your analysis and demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic. Make sure your essay fully explores the complexities presented in the essay prompt.
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Use more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your claims. These examples are essential to ground your arguments and provide concrete evidence for your points of view. Examples should be precise and clearly linked to the ideas you are presenting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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