IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many cities more people are living alone. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#cities #people #case #development
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In recent years a general trend has been witnessed in several cities, many
people
Use synonyms
 are taking the choice to live alone probably in need of escaping metropolitan chaos and being just alone. Are we looking at a socially negative trend that may have an impact on
people
Use synonyms
 within urban communities? Consequences could be worrisome and issues like mental and physical health are at stake. It is widely known how
people
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 are working on the clock,
more
Correct word choice
and more
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 than ever workers feel the need to increase productivity
while
Linking Words
 bearing in mind to conduct
an
Change the article
a
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 healthy and active social life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
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 are looking for spaces where to live alone in order
escape
Fix the infinitive
to escape
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 from
chaos
Add an article
the chaos
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 and find peace.
Moreover
Linking Words
, not being accountable to anyone, may
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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be either a flatmate or a partner, probably gives
people
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 a sense of freedom compared to the constriction of their workspace.
However
Linking Words
, has been proved that an initial feeling of free self-care time gain is quickly replaced by a longer period dedicated to
work
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working
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 throughout weekdays with tasks brought home.
This
Linking Words
 behaviour leads to several bad habits like
week-end
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weekend
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 full of laziness resulting in binge watching
of
Change preposition
apply
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tv series, little time spent on healthy food preferring junk products.
Lastly
Linking Words
 a great feeling of loneliness and isolation
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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foster and self-feeds itself. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 trend has been
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
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 to be highly harmful. Living alone brings away
people
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 from the benefits of socialising and being around
people
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 for leisure. If not swiftly tackled down might represent
a big issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
big issues
a big issue
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 in the forthcoming decades.
Submitted by filippofagnani7 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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