IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many cities more people are living alone. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#cities #people #case #development
In recent years a general trend has been witnessed in several cities, many
people
 are taking the choice to live alone probably in need of escaping metropolitan chaos and being just alone. Are we looking at a socially negative trend that may have an impact on
people
 within urban communities? Consequences could be worrisome and issues like mental and physical health are at stake. It is widely known how
people
 are working on the clock,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 than ever workers feel the need to increase productivity
while
 bearing in mind to conduct
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 healthy and active social life.
Therefore
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 are looking for spaces where to live alone in order
escape
Fix the infinitive
to escape
show examples
 from
chaos
Add an article
the chaos
show examples
 and find peace.
Moreover
, not being accountable to anyone, may
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
be either a flatmate or a partner, probably gives
people
 a sense of freedom compared to the constriction of their workspace.
However
, has been proved that an initial feeling of free self-care time gain is quickly replaced by a longer period dedicated to
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 throughout weekdays with tasks brought home.
This
 behaviour leads to several bad habits like
week-end
Correct your spelling
weekend
show examples
 full of laziness resulting in binge watching
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tv series, little time spent on healthy food preferring junk products.
Lastly
 a great feeling of loneliness and isolation
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
foster and self-feeds itself. In conclusion,
this
 trend has been
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
 to be highly harmful. Living alone brings away
people
 from the benefits of socialising and being around
people
 for leisure. If not swiftly tackled down might represent
a big issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
big issues
a big issue
show examples
 in the forthcoming decades.
Submitted by filippofagnani7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: