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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Parents of obese children should be punished for making thier children fat.

It is augured that the punishments should be applied to
parents
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 who have obese
children
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. I disagree with the above statement. I personally agree with those who believe that
parents
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 should not be blamed.
To begin
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 with,
parents
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 could not supervise their
children
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 all day.
Parents
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 are busy earning more to afford the high educational fees and other expenditures as they cannot keep their eyes on their
children
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 all the time.
That is
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 to say,
children
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 have the opportunity to eat high-caloric foods or unhealthy drinks, escaping from their
parents
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’ eyesight.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 may find it is not practical to take control of
children
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’s eating behaviours when they are absent in some situations. For another, health education should
also
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 be considered in schools.
Children
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 spend most of their time studying at school. In
this
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 situation, schools should take the responsibility to educate the young to keep a healthy eating diet rather than eating overly or drinking too many carbon beverages or something else.
For instance
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, as a survey revealed, almost 90% of pupils eat junk food somewhere out of their homes. As for the
children
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, they do not have enough self-restraint to control themselves. Health education in schools is regarded as a guide, providing a healthier learning environment. In conclusion, mothers and fathers should not be penalized if their sons or daughters are too heavy because they are unable to look after their kids at some time and someplace. And the schools’ health education should be considered as an important role to solve the overweight problem of
children
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.

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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