In many countries, individuals or their employers pay for medical treatment. Should the government be more responsible for the health of their citizens? Discuss and give your opinion.

#countries #individuals #employers #treatment #government #health #citizens

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Some

people

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believe that all governments must provide their citizens with free medical treatments

instead

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of health

insurance

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which employers usually give to their workers,

whereas

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others do not agree with that.

While

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I believe that all medical treatments should be free and available for all classes in the country, plastic surgeries are not included in it. There are some reasons why

people

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do not agree with medical treatments being free and everyone should pay or use

insurance

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Firstly

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, it will affect the country's economy, since the governments will pay for operating hospitals and paying salaries for doctors.

Secondly

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, there are

people

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who want to have plastic surgery which is considered as not nassesery operation.

For example

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, ladies who are doing a nose job to be more prettier.

Finally

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, it will affect the government's budget

instead

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of more significant projects.

On the other hand

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, the reason why I believe that medical should be free for everyone is that being a right for all classes,

in addition

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to helping businesses and small companies who usually pay for their employer's health

insurance

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to relieve them from paying. In conclusion,

people

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assume that providing free treatment in hospitals is one of the country's responsibilities

whereas

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others do not agree. In my opinion, I agree that all countries should give free health

insurance

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to all their population.

Submitted by layan992015 on Sat Nov 23 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure the essay fully addresses all parts of the task by providing a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. While you presented both sides, giving more detailed reasoning and examples or data to back up each viewpoint will enhance the argument.

coherence

Enhance coherence by working on logical order and smooth transitions between ideas. There are some abrupt transitions, particularly between the arguments for free healthcare and the opposing view. Using connecting words effectively will help maintain a smoother flow.

coherence

Ensure cohesiveness by making sure the conclusion succinctly summarizes your opinion and the main points discussed, while also suggesting deeper insight or a call to action if possible. Currently, it just restates the opinion without an overarching summary of the arguments presented.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly outlines both views on the topic, establishing a solid foundation for the essay.

relevant specific examples

You presented a relevant real-world example regarding cosmetic surgery which helps clarify the opposing viewpoint.

task achievement

Your writing reflects a strong personal stance, which adds to the persuasiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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In many countries, individuals or their employers pay for medical treatment. Should the government be more responsible for the health of their citizens? Discuss and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries around the world men and women are having children later in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think government should spent money on languages that are dying and a few number of people uses them, some think this is a waste of resources. Discuss both views and tell what's your take on this issue.