IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are dificult,such as sahara desert and Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantges for tourists who visit such places.Give reasons for your answer includeing any relevent examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#tourist #places #conditions #dificult #sahara #desert #antarctic #disadvantges #tourists #visit #relevent
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Tourism is a popular industry nowadays in many counties of the world.Undoubtedly an incredible amount of travellers visit every year to some challenging places ,
such
Linking Words
 as the desert or the south pole.
Although
Linking Words
 the visitors will struggle with facilities and
Use synonyms
life risk
Add a hyphen
life-risk
show examples
 injury challenges
while
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 adverse area,They gain education through practical knowledge and cultural exchange
while
Linking Words
 communicating with the local community.In my opinion,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
visitors are better off spending time in tourist hubs. Education and cultural exchanges are the two main advantages why the travellers are likely to spend their holidays,Being present in these places they learn practical knowledge about the place,people and their behaviour or geographical area.
For instance
Linking Words
. the behaviour and
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 of Eskimos or local crowd and their transport sledge vehicles which can be only used on ice slabs are read in the geography textbook can be experienced.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,the adventure lover scholars talk to the local people and learn a new language and understand their likes,dislikes,clothes,food and livelihood.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,there are mainly two disadvantages
while
Linking Words
 visiting
this
Linking Words
 challenging neighbourhood.They can be
Use synonyms
life risk
Add a hyphen
life-risk
show examples
 attacks and rubber by the poor , illiterate young adult and lack of proper accommodation and facilities in the local communities.Unemployed young adults who are drug addicted and are engaged in criminal activities may snatch the visitor's wealth and physically them harm.These adults can
also
Linking Words
 take the benefits of the local language which the traveller does not understand and misguide the newcomers to those areas.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,going to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unknown place may not find a proper and secure place to take a rest.There may be difficulty in getting desired food.
Linking Words
Due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Variations in temperature in the climate can cause sickness to these newcomers. In conclusion, travellers visit problematic unknown neighbourhoods despite hardship. ,No doubt, reaching there they don't get proper facilities and face some time
life
Use synonyms
 risk situations in a new community,it is fact that these tourists get a variety of practical knowledge and cultural exchanges with a local family which give a lot of adventures and excitement in
life
Use synonyms
 and are unforgettable memories.
Submitted by saomyakrsna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: