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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the type of transport young people in four countries prefer to use.

The chart below shows the type of transport young people in four countries prefer to use.
#type #transport #people #four #countries
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The bar chart compares the proportion of the young preference for using different types of vehicles in 4 countries namely: Great
Britain
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, the USA,
Germany
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, and
France
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
car
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the car
a car
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 is the most popular type of transport,
excepts
Wrong verb form
except
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 for
Germany
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,
while
Linking Words
motorcycle
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the motorcycle
a motorcycle
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 is
choosen
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chosen
 by
the
Correct article usage
a
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 minority of the youth. Looking at the graph for more detail, the ratio of car preference is the highest
figure
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 in
France
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 (about 75%), and stays at
same
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the same
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 amount in Great
Britain
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 and the USA,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
figure
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 for
Germany
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 is lower (40%).
By contrast
Linking Words
, the young who prefer to
utilising
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utilise
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motorbike
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motorbikes
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 in Great
Britain
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,
France
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 and
Germany
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 account for around 10% and
this
Linking Words
figure
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 for the United States is
threehold
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threefold
threshold
. Bicycle is the most popular type of
vehicles
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vehicle
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 in
Germany
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 (45%).
Bike
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The bike
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 is ranked
at
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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second place
of
Change preposition
in
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 the popularity of
transports
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transport
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 in Great
Britain
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 and
France
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, are about 38% and 15% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the ratio of young people who prefer cycle is 10% in the USA, which is the lowest
figure
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.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words britain, germany, france, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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