Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There is an endless debate about the functions of wrapped
items
in our ever-changing world. Some people
believe that producers and shopping centres must be aware of the number
of products
. However
, this
is a persuasive argument that the responsibilities of citizens
are more important and directly affect the issue.
It is acknowledged that raising the awareness of businesses about the impact of sealed goods on the environment can be a considerable idea. To be specific, currently, there is an increasing number
of take-away products
that are suitable for the huge demand of people
. As a result
, manufacturers have to increase productivity to catch up with the trend. Therefore
, reducing the number
of products
that are wrapped will still not be easy to remove. Governments should propagate the effects of this
kind of item for retailers to concentrate on improving the quality of the products
instead
of boosting the output. Take the example of Aquafina, they tend to remove the unnecessary plastic details on the products
that contribute effectively to the environment.
On the other hand
, enhancing the recognition of citizens
is the key that needs to be considered. While
it is undeniable that people
are likely to select the take-away items
due to
convenience and quickness. This
gives rise to a noticeable increase in the proportion of wrapped items
and the amount of rubbish that is
released into the environment. Therefore
, popularizing the awareness of citizens
is crucial to have a better approach to this
issue. Studies have proven that lots of rubbish are floating in residential areas like rivers or lakes, therefore
inhabitants need to take more steps to tackle this
problem.
It is my belief that people
need to change their view of packaged products
instead
of reducing their yield. It has been proven that cutting down on the number
of items
can be harmful to the financial market and decrease the stable salaries of many workers. Moreover
, it will have a bad impact on the foundation of the countries that rely on manufacturing wrapped products
.
To conclude
, both sides have their own benefits, but the issues caused by reducing the quantities of the products
are more serious. Authorities have to raise the awareness of citizens
about this
problem.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Clarify some parts of the argument for better understanding. For example, in the first paragraph, 'must be aware of the number of products' could be clearer if it's stated what you mean by 'number of products.'
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed. This will increase the impact of your argument and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to support your claims. Instead of just mentioning Aquafina, refer to other companies or industries that are also adopting similar practices.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument, which is important for a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with paragraphs dedicated to different perspectives and a clear opinion expressed in the conclusion.
task achievement
Key ideas are communicatively clear, making it easy to understand the author's stance and the reasons behind it.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example