Some people think that work is the most important thing in people's life. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #life #success #career

It is believed that the most crucial factor is

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professional success as it creates the meaning of

life

. From my perspective,

this

opinion is reasonable to a certain extent, and I will give my detailed explanation in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

, the success of a vocation provides a significant number of economic benefits for the labour force. Specifically, stable professions offer staff monthly earnings, which would increase as workers perform well and climb the career ladder. Companies even provide remuneration for employees’ families, including security plans, or yearly travel.

Secondly

, successful businessmen earn respect from society. It is undebatable that most individuals would hope to achieve accomplishment in their line of work, and they believe people who already succeed as their role models. In fact, many citizens spend a hundred thousand VND to have a chance to listen to a shared experience from the CEO of large corporations in VN.

However

, a meaningful

life

requires more elements than money and reputation.

Firstly

, employees request healthy well-being to really enjoy their results. Specifically, a lot of people devote their

life

and health to workplaces, which causes a number of bad habits, namely a sedentary lifestyle or smoking addiction.

Consequently

, the money which staff earn is used to pay for medical expenses for tuberculosis and obesity,

instead

of taking time for themselves.

In addition

, social and family relationships are of paramount importance to any worker. Specifically, when working environments bring stress and deadlines, families would endow employees with empathy and relaxation.

Additionally

, meetings with friends

also

are elements making

life

more colourful. In conclusion, it is undebatable that the success of a career not only provides workers economic benefits but

also

respect from the public.

However

, I believe that the meaning of

life

might be decided by a number of different elements,

such

as health and social relationships.

Submitted by nttung.182 on Mon Mar 20 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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